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Mark Zuckerberg pleads with the FTC not to seize his lunch money as it's all that's standing between him and a slap up lunch at the Ritz

Mark Zuckerberg pleads with the FTC not to seize his lunch money as it’s all that’s standing between him and a slap up lunch at the Ritz

The FTC (Federal Trade Commission) has ordered Mark Zuckerberg‘s lunch allowance to be seized following allegations that Facebook has been gathering data on its users.

Data the company gathered includes users’ friends and family, where they live, where they went to school, the name of their pet and their favourite swear word.

In many cases the company also has data on how much wine or beer a user can drink before they fall over and which alt-right, alt-left and alt-centre political groups they belong to.

More serious data collection includes photos and videos of cats doing funny things, plus restaurants where they eat along with photos of their meals.

This allows Facebook to build up a convincing profile of their users which they use for nefarious purposes such as selling them things they don’t want through adverts.

The FTC said the heaviest punishment they could levy was to go direct to the top and seize Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s petty cash, lunch allowance and to shoot his tailor.

Facebook declined to comment immediately on the allegations but did say Mr Zuckerberg had already made approaches to acquire a new tailor.

The company also said every user would receive a personalised reply explaining exactly how this would affect them along with suggestions of items they might like to purchase to make their lives easier, better and to piss off their friends.

Ref: BBC News Facebook ‘to be fined $5bn over Cambridge Analytica scandal’

What’s the worst thing you’ve bought from a Facebook ad?
What would you do if you had no lunch money?
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