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“Weird hair an indication of criminality,” says police physiological profiler

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A weird hairstyle and sunglasses - this guy is definitely up to no good!

A weird hairstyle and sunglasses – this guy is definitely up to no good!

“A bad hairstyle is a sure give-away of a criminal mentality,” says Dr Gwendoline Bendover, a psychological criminal profiler who once helped police with their enquiries..

Physiological profiling is the study of physical characteristics and Dr Bendover’s speciality is seeing how these relate to criminality.

“It’s often thought,” said Dr Bendover. “That eyes which are close together indicate a shifty character and someone not to be trusted. But if that were the case, half our politicians would fall into that camp.” She laughs. Although not very convincingly.

After studying seven year’s worth of data relating to criminals and their physical characteristics, Dr Bendover has come to the conclusion that the number one give-away that reveals a criminal intent is a weird hair style.

She explains: “The most common give-away in men is when the hair is short on one side and slopes up on the other like a ski jump. The hair reflects the imbalanced mind beneath. Look at the mug shots of criminals and you’ll see this again and again.

“In some cases, the criminals have shaved off all their hair to remove the signs but when it grows back you’ll see the weird hairstyle appearing again.

“All female criminals have long hair, often so badly styled that it looks like a wig. Sometimes it is a wig but it’s still bad. A really badly-cut bob is popular. Not many female criminals shave their heads so they are usually easier to spot.

“Other signs of criminality behaviours,” said Dr Bendover. “Include wearing sunglasses indoors, hanging around in gangs and wielding guns and knives. And killing people.”

When asked if the general public should be wary of people with bad hairstyles, Dr Bendover replied: “I’d certainly give them a wide berth. Even if they are not actively engaged in some criminal activity, their weird hairstyle would reflect badly on you if you were seen together and your social standing may never recover, especially if they kill you.”

When asked if the bad hairstyles could indicate any other kind of psychopathic behaviour Dr Bendover replied: “Yes! It definitely indicates a bad choice of hairdresser!”

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