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8, August 2019

“We will not negotiate with whiny Englishman,” says EU

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A European hospital where an EU negotiator suggested Michael Gove 'could get his adenoids done'

A European hospital where an EU negotiator suggested Michael Gove ‘could get his adenoids done’

As the Brexit deadline looms, the UK is looking for a way to avoid a no-deal Brexit.

So, apparently, is the EU.

However, the EU has said it cannot negotiate with a “whiny Englishman“, referring to Michael Gove who is in charge of no-deal Brexit planning.

“We could not sit for hours listening to that whiny voice,” said an EU spokesman in a nasally voice. “It would drive us mad and we could never take such a voice seriously.

“Does he need his adenoids doing? We have very good hospitals over here if your NHS is under strain.”

Michael Gove blamed the EU negotiators’ inability to understand English.

“We speak to them very slowly and very loudly,” he said. “But still they do not understand plain English. What’s wrong with these foreigners?”

One EU junior-office third-rank assistant in the Department of Lackadaisical Indirectness volunteered a solution but he was told to progress his suggestion through the proper channels to the Department for Development, Progress and Innovation.

A decision on his suggestion is expected in the next two to three years as the Department needs reforming having not been in operation since its proposal that bananas be straight to enable more efficient packing back in 2008.

Meanwhile, it’s likely that the UK will send in a negotiator who speaks a little European. If they can find one.

Ref: BBC News Brexit: EU ‘refusing to negotiate’, says Gove

Are all politicians whiny?
Are straight bananas and square apples a good idea?
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