The White House pulled out of an agreement with local burger suppliers guaranteeing to buy so-many burgers per week. When US President Donald Trump was off on jollies doing state visits and the like, the White House burger requirement halved.
The suppliers reacted by stopping burger supplies to the White House altogether.
In a statement, a White House official said: “We cannot allow our great country and tradition to be held to ransom by these people. We are, therefore, deploying chefs into the affected areas to ensure continuing supplies.
“These are all top guys who have cooked for all the top burger joints in the country. They have been trained the American way and they know their onions.”
A White House assistant who asked not to be named said: “Burgers! We’re all sick to death of burgers so we don’t order many when DT’s not around. But when he is we go along with it in case we get fired, prosecuted and end up in prison.
“To be honest, most of us dump them in the trash or give them to a homeless person – we’re not heartless, you know. But one intern got caught binning his and was put on toilet duty for a week.”
The action has been criticised as inflammatory by the national restaurant trade who have called for restraint and the re-opening of negotiations.
One burger bar owner said: “We have fulfilled our obligations fully according to the agreement. We’re not the ones breaking it, it’s the White House.
“And what do their chefs know about cooking burgers? I’ve been doing it all my life, 52 years. If you’re in the area call into Jimmy’s Burger Bar to get the best burgers in town. Mention this ad and you’ll get a free milkshake.”
The more burgers you eat, the more qualified you are to lead a country. Discuss
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