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Government passes Deferred Gratification bill. It comes into effect in 2050

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Thieves broke into Battersea Dogs Home. No animals were taken but police are looking for leads. A spokesman for Battersea said: “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Turner Old Master found in rubble: Ex-teacher Brian Turner doing well after his ordeal

James Pattison to stop collaborating with co-authors. His next solo book is due out in2035

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Prolific Facebook “Liker” Simon Miles ordered to stop Liking everything – he doesn’t Like it.

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Movie business to make a movie about the business of making a movie in the movie business

16, August 2019

UK recruiting top overseas scientists for secret project

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Top overseas scientists expected to advance scientific knowledge by decades

Top overseas scientists expected to advance scientific knowledge by decades

The UK is “supercharging” science projects by fast-tracking overseas scientists to bring them to the UK.

The initiative began by prioritising a group of scientists from Ingolstadt in Germany who have already arrived and set up a laboratory.

As a basis for their experiments, the group is using a collection of recently-unearthed journals, long thought lost, detailing the work of a highly-regarded scientist.

The scientific group asked to work in Edinburgh which has one of the UK’s highest mortality rates. A group spokesman, who had a thick European accent, said this was purely coincidental.

To get the group to come to the UK, PM Boris Johnson promised them a very large blackboard, all the raw materials they require and the use of Edinburgh castle for their experiments.

The castle stands high on a hill and has a tall flag post. The spokesman, who seemed slightly hunched, said that was purely coincidental.

The scientists provided a list of equipment required. An inside source revealed the list included lots of complicated apparatus, medical equipment and one of those machines which makes sparks fly up and down between two wires.

Boris Johnson also announced a new Donor Card incentive which pays those signing up for it. The scheme is starting in Edinburgh before being rolled out nationwide.

The spokesperson, said this was purely coincidental and invited us to look around the laboratory.

We declined, made our excuses and left.

Ref: BBC News PM vows to ‘supercharge’ UK science with fast-track visas

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