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10, October 2019

UK population falls asleep as ‘B’ word mentioned again in news

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The entire UK population assumed the natural state of the London commuter upon hearing the 'B' word again in the news

The entire UK population assumed the natural state of the London commuter upon hearing the ‘B’ word again in the news

The entire UK population spontaneously fell into a deep sleep this morning as newsreaders reported on the latest ‘B‘ negotiations.

According to Dr. Emanuel Upanistad, a clinical psychologist specialising in impromptu sleep disorders, the UK population has been so overexposed to the ‘B‘ word during the last three years that it triggered a “spontaneous somnambulism”.

“The population effectively tuned out,” said Dr Upanistad. “They sleep-walked their way through the best part of an hour. They were unable to say the ‘B’ word or, indeed, realise that it had been said by anyone else. It’s a form of word blindness.”

UK news sources were unable to report on the event as newsreaders immediately fell asleep when trying to read the item.

It was left to foreign journalists to first report the event although several top reporters from major EU countries also fell asleep when attempting to initiate a report.

It is estimated that the lost man-hours due to the ‘B’ word cost the UK around £1.3b.

A No. 10 spokesperson said: “It’s fine, this has already been factored into the bill for Brexit.


Ref: BBC News Brexit: EU leaders criticise UK proposals

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