US President Donald Trump has spent the last month trying to memorise the names of all the Royals he’s due to meet on his state visit to the UK in June.
In an effort to avoid the Royal faux pas he made on his last visit, Trump has been attempting to memorise the names of the Royals, their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, but, with the onset of dementia or some such mental illness, he has not found this easy.
He said: “There’s far too many. How can anyone remember all those many names? Why can’t there be just a couple like me and Melania. I mean, Donald and Melania are easy to remember. I remember them.
“It’s not like these Royals run the country. They’re just figureheads, not proper rulers like me.
“After my last visit, I’m on first-name terms with Lizzie and Phil but all those many kids and sub-princes and Duchesses…
“The easiest option – and I’m all for the easy option, it’s the America way and I’m all for America. Why make life greatly difficult when you can have it so much easy? – is to call them all “Your Royalness”. Why weren’t the Brits smart enough to think of that? Takes a very big smart person like me to think of something that good. It covers all the bases.”
He added: “I hope Farage is there. He’s a friend and a big power guy. Maybe they could make him a Royal.”
How many faux pas will Trump make this time?
Is “Your Trumpness” an acceptable form of address?
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