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20, August 2019

Trump on Island buying spree: UK next

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"What am I bid for this fine piece of real estate? Several careless owners but nothing that can't be fixed with a little TLC and a few hundred billion pounds."

“What am I bid for this fine piece of real estate? Several careless owners but nothing that can’t be fixed with a little TLC and a few hundred billion pounds.”

After Denmark made it clear that Greenland was not for sale, US President Donald Trump has set his sights on the UK which has a more pliant PM.

As the trade war between the USA and, well, lots of countries, hots up, Donald Trump is looking for a strategic foothold somewhere across the Atlantic.

Trump and UK PM Boris Johnson held initial talks about America buying the UK but no decision was reached.

“An island is very ideal,” said Trump. “Because it is so in the middle of enormous and deep water. It’s easier to know where your own territory ends and the other guy’s own territory begins. At least I find it easier and I like doing things easy.”

Mr Trump had already expressed an interest in buying Scotland as he already has a golf club there.

That came to nothing as part of the deal required Scotland to be emptied of “surly Scots” which meant shipping them to England which the government did not find appealing.

The latest negotiations include the whole of the UK so the Scots can stay where they are.

Mr Trump says he’d resolve the Brexit problem in “no time” and promised not to turn Hampshire into a dumping ground for nuclear Waste.

Mr Johnson said the offer “pressed a lot of good buttons”.

A Treasury spokesperson said: “Brexit will cost us billions and that’s what Mr Trump is counting on.

“When he said the US would do a big trade deal with the UK, we didn’t think this was what he meant.

Ref: BBC News Greenland: Trump warned that island cannot be bought from Denmark

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