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Tourists’ bums banned from Rome

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A funny thing happened to tourists on their way to the Roman Forum...

A funny thing happened to tourists on their way to the Roman Forum…

A new law passed in Rome has banned anyone from sitting on the capital’s famous Spanish Steps.

The Scalinata di Trinità dei Monti is one of Rome‘s most famous landmarks where tourists gather to eat pizza, pretend to be Italian, and talk loudly but not about the weather, not even the British.

However, new laws ban anyone from sitting on the Steps, especially tourists, although pretty girls are more likely to be treated leniently.

If you’re caught you face a fine of all the spare cash in your  bank account and get locked up until you can name three Italian wines that go well with pizza.

The Italians mean business when they’re not making lasagne.

An immaculately-dressed spokeswoman for the Civil Authorities said: “It’s well known that people’s bottoms are harder than their feet so it makes sense to stop them sitting on them. Er, stop people sitting on the Steps with their bottoms.

“We don’t want them – er, bottoms – to wear the Steps away because then we’d only have the Pope to attract tourists and he’s getting a lot of bad publicity of late with the you-know-what…

“Besides, the fines allow us to smarten up our Polizia’s uniforms as they were quite shabby, for Italians that is.

“We think tourists appreciate getting arrested by smart-looking policeman. It adds a certain frisson to the holiday, don’t you think?”

In a similar move, the authorities have banned taking photographs of the Trevi Fountain as the flash of cameras is causing light pollution.

Visitors to the Colosseum will no longer be allowed to make gladiator or animal noises for fear the vibrations cause the pillars to collapse. And it’s disturbing the local homeless population.

The Roman Forum was Rome’s main public meeting place but now people have been banned from going there which is funny. Sort of.

The Pantheon, originally dedicated to Roman gods, is now off-limits to everyone except Scientologists in case it steers them from the ‘true path’.

Visitors to St. Peter’s Basilica may not look at the dome in case the Hand of God strikes them dead in which case the authorities most definitely will not be responsible for the cost of shipping the coffin home.

Ref: BBC News Rome doesn’t take Spanish Steps ban sitting down


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