Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

During her visit to China UK PM, Theresa May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texas. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

Tourists’ bums banned from Rome

You are awesome for sharing

A funny thing happened to tourists on their way to the Roman Forum...

A funny thing happened to tourists on their way to the Roman Forum…

A new law passed in Rome has banned anyone from sitting on the capital’s famous Spanish Steps.

The Scalinata di Trinità dei Monti is one of Rome‘s most famous landmarks where tourists gather to eat pizza, pretend to be Italian, and talk loudly but not about the weather, not even the British.

However, new laws ban anyone from sitting on the Steps, especially tourists, although pretty girls are more likely to be treated leniently.

If you’re caught you face a fine of all the spare cash in your  bank account and get locked up until you can name three Italian wines that go well with pizza.

The Italians mean business when they’re not making lasagne.

An immaculately-dressed spokeswoman for the Civil Authorities said: “It’s well known that people’s bottoms are harder than their feet so it makes sense to stop them sitting on them. Er, stop people sitting on the Steps with their bottoms.

“We don’t want them – er, bottoms – to wear the Steps away because then we’d only have the Pope to attract tourists and he’s getting a lot of bad publicity of late with the you-know-what…

“Besides, the fines allow us to smarten up our Polizia’s uniforms as they were quite shabby, for Italians that is.

“We think tourists appreciate getting arrested by smart-looking policeman. It adds a certain frisson to the holiday, don’t you think?”

In a similar move, the authorities have banned taking photographs of the Trevi Fountain as the flash of cameras is causing light pollution.

Visitors to the Colosseum will no longer be allowed to make gladiator or animal noises for fear the vibrations cause the pillars to collapse. And it’s disturbing the local homeless population.

The Roman Forum was Rome’s main public meeting place but now people have been banned from going there which is funny. Sort of.

The Pantheon, originally dedicated to Roman gods, is now off-limits to everyone except Scientologists in case it steers them from the ‘true path’.

Visitors to St. Peter’s Basilica may not look at the dome in case the Hand of God strikes them dead in which case the authorities most definitely will not be responsible for the cost of shipping the coffin home.

Ref: BBC News Rome doesn’t take Spanish Steps ban sitting down

Pizza or pasta? Choose
What famous monument would you like to deface?
Leave a Comment below

You are awesome for sharing

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below

Leave a Reply: