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31, March 2019

Tory MP cries foul after losing a no-confidence vote for not sticking to campaign promises for free hair cuts

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Would you buy the promise of a free hair cut from this man?

Would you buy the promise of a free hair cut from this man?

Tory MP, Dominic Grieve, has complained about losing a no-confidence vote after obstructing policies he promised to push through if he was elected.

One disgruntled party member, Mrs Gertrude Withers, 82, said: “In order to gets my support he clearly promised to stop teenagers throwing bird seed into my vegetable patch. It’s been ravaged. There’s hardly a sprout left.”

Another member, Alfred Bartle, 52, said: “As well as letting Mrs Withers’ vegetables get eaten, he also promised to stop cars speeding down my street at 8 o’clock in the morning, waking me up. I’m on middle shift. How the heck am I supposed to get any rest? I mean, if your MP can’t help, who can?”

The local party deputy chairman said: “He was a major supporter of free haircuts for the over-60s but he’s consistently argued against it in the House since he was elected.

“”He seems to forget that he’s there to do what he promised to do, not what he likes. They’re all the bloody same.”

Mr Grieve was clearly aggrieved and complained of an “orchestrated campaign” and “dark, un-British forces at work behind the scenes.” It’s not clear if he was referring to his detractors or the Tory party.

“It’s simply not fair,” whinged Mr Grieve. “I mean, is it right they should get free hair cuts? I believe most right-thinking people would say not.

“If every MP was faced with a no-confidence vote for turning against a promise in their manifesto, there’d be no MPs left!”

Quite!

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