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2, October 2019

Tory conference: MPs forced to listen to b*llsh*t speeches

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Tory MPs were locked in a room and forced to listen to BS speeches by Priti Patel and other senior Tories without even the assistance of a drink

Tory MPs were locked in a room and forced to listen to BS speeches by Priti Patel and other senior Tories without even the assistance of a drink

Several Tory MPs were prevented from leaving the Tory conference hall before major speeches by the PM and senior Tories.

Security staff locked the doors and stood guard to prevent anyone trying to force them open. The staff said they had instructions not to let anyone out until the speeches were over.

One of the security team said:”It was very awkward. The speakers were talking BS as usual. The MPs knew it and wanted to leave but we had orders to stop them.

“One of them tried the windows, which we had not been instructed to guard. They opened one but it had bars on the outside which is ironic as they were trying to get to a bar, if you see what I mean,

“But yeah, bars on the windows.  It is Manchester, you know.”

One MP for the Cotswolds who did not want to be named said: “We just wanted to get to the bar but apparently we didn’t have the right ‘Get Out of Conference’ pass. Damned shame, what?

“It’s a good job none of us are alcoholics or that could have caused a real problem, eh?”

A Tory spokesperson later said: “Their behaviour was totally unacceptable. Even if the speeches were BS, it’s their duty to listen and applaud riotously afterwards. We’re not the DUP, you know?

“We will be having a full investigation and anyone found in breach of the rules will have the whip withdrawn. If they haven’t already.”

The security guard said: “I can’t feel sorry for them. We had to listen to that stuff sober, too – and we’re on minimum wage.”

Ref: BBC News Sir Geoffrey Clifton-Brown: MP kicked out of Tory conference after clash


What’s the lowest-class joint you’ve been kicked out of?
What’s the best speech you interrupted when drunk?
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