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5, May 2019

Tories triumphant after election results

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After the local election results, a large crowd gathered outside No. 10 to hear Theresa May's victory speech

After the local election results, a large crowd gathered outside No. 10 to hear Theresa May’s victory speech

Theresa May was in rapturous mood following local election results, and gave a speech outside Number 10.

“The result show once and for all that the electorate are behind us in our policies and our handling of Brexit.

“Labour has been decimated. The Liberal Democrats, the Greens and the other parties are in disarray.

“We could not have wished for more support or a more resounding victory and we thank all our millions of supporters for turning out and voting.

“With our new mandate we will push forward with our policies of pumping more money into the NHS, into teaching and child care, the police and housing.

“We will use money saved by privatising some medical services, increasing class sizes, cutting police numbers and letting free-form capitalism take care of the housing market. We will also overhaul the benefits system so only the most deserving cases get help.

“We will return to the hard work we have all been doing over Brexit. We will pull together to get the best deal possible, which is my deal, through Parliament.

“After this result we are supremely confident of winning another general election and we can all look forward to another wonderful four years of Conservative government.”

And then the opium wore off and she woke up.

Did the Russians interfere with the election?
Should we all be allowed to smoke opium?
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