Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texan. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

During her visit to China UK PM, Thereas May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

Tag Archives for " World "

13, February 2019

Tears of a clown! World clown shortage! “The Chinese are eating them!” says Bongo Baggy Britches

Tears of a clown -

The number of clowns in the world is decreasing at an exponential rate. As their natural habitat, the circus, comes increasingly under threat from legislation, and their livelihood is threatened by video games, Ronald MacDonald and apathy, clowns are becoming an endangered species. But there’s another danger, too. Clown impresario and spokesman for the Family […]

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12, February 2019

Beer and wine myth exposed! “You’ll still feel like shite the next morning,” say scientists.

The saying “Beer before wine make you feel fine, wine before beer makes you feel queer,” has been shown to be “pure balderdash” say German scientists. In a study involving the country’s entire student population, half were told to drink six pints of lager followed by two bottles of white wine. The other half drank […]

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8, February 2019

“We’re rootin’ for Putin” tops Russian pop charts for ninth month in a row. “We don’t want to go to Siberia,” says band

Doggy Riot is Russia’s latest top boy band and has topped the Russian charts for over 9 months with their hit single “We’re rootin’ for Putin.” Inspiration for their name came from the ill-fated Pussy Riot, a punk rock protest group that sang songs about Putin being a dictator and who Putin sent to the […]

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“Dinosaurs became extinct because they nuked each other!” claims evolutionary scientist. “And we’re next!”

Dinosaurs used their opposable thumbs to nuke each other!

“It’s the thumbs, you see,” said Dr Richard Gould, lead researcher into Opposable Thumb Evolution. “Not many species have opposable thumbs, mainly humans and primates. But dinosaurs like the Tyrannosaurus Rex had them. 65 million years ago they used their opposable thumbs to develop weapons of mass destruction and wiped each other out. History is […]

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