Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

During her visit to China UK PM, Thereas May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texan. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

Tag Archives for " World "

6, March 2019

Facebook crackdown on false Reactions. New rules to force users to prove their Reactions genuine

You Like it! Really? Prove it!

In a crackdown against fake news, fake buns and false everything else, Facebook is introducing compulsory ‘Reaction proof’. Before a user can select Like, Heart or one of the other Reaction emoticons, they will have to prove their intent is genuine. A Facebook spokesperson explained: “Facebook has been accused of promoting false messages and fake […]

Tell me more...!

Weird hairstyle reveals North Korean Kim Jong-un as a dictator

Kim Jong-un's weird hair definitely marks him as a dictator!

Dr Gwendoline Bendover, psychological profiler has made a study of criminals with weird hairstyles. An analysis of the hairstyle of North Korea’s Kim Jong-un has revealed him as a dictator. “Hairstyle is one thing you can’t hide,” said Dr Bendover. “At least not unless you shave it off. You can see that Kim has tried […]

Tell me more...!

“I don’t want to do Eurovision,” wails Michael Rice. “It’s a fix.”

This year's UK Eurovision entry might look like this!

Talent show winner, Michael Rice, 21, has been picked to represent the UK in this year’s Eurovision song contest in May. Privately he confided: “I don’t want to do it. It’s the kiss of death for any singer’s career. Mine will be over before it gets started. “Who’s the last UK Eurovision contestant you remember…? […]

Tell me more...!

Dogs will rule the world by 2050 as they get smarter and humans get dumber!

Dogs will rule the world by 2050!

Esteemed psychologist and dog behaviourist, Dr Stanley Coren PhD., DSc, FRSC, who specialises in testing dogs’ IQ, says that dogs are definitely getting smarter. When he first began his doggy IQ tests back in the 1990s, dogs were as smart as the average two-year old. “Now,” says Dr Coren. “Dogs are as smart as a […]

Tell me more...!

Erotic novel by Mussolini discovered in Rome brothel!

Mussolini keeps one eye on his men, who he liked enormously, while reading his proofs

An erotic novel written by Italian dictator, Benito Mussolini, was discovered in a former brothel in Rome. The book was found by workmen demolishing a house that was once Mussolini’s favourite brothel, La Farfalla. Mussolini was called Il Duce to his face but Il Piccolino behind his back, especially by his many lovers, some of […]

Tell me more...!

Oil companies release “Energy from water” patents they’ve sat on for years! “It’s a major boon for the whole world,” they say. “But mainly for us!”

Gives a new meaning to the phrase:

In a joint statement put out by the World’s five biggest oil companies, they have agreed to release “energy from water” patents that they have held for over 50 years. The patents describe how water can be converted to energy and used to “fuel” every kind of engine from cars to planes, and from boats […]

Tell me more...!
19, February 2019

Pop Francis to give fortune to the poor! “Over my dead body, ya dingo!” says Cardinal George Pell,

After visiting dozens of impoverished countries over the last few years, Pope Francis has announced that he intends to give away half the church’s fortune to the poor. This comes hot on the heels of yet more abuse and financial scandals for the Catholic church at a time when many people are wondering if the […]

Tell me more...!
16, February 2019

Cash for kids! “I’ll pay you to have my babies,” says Hungarian Prime Minister. It’s better than Wonga!

Hungary’s right-wing nationalist Prime Minister, Viktor Orban, has offered Hungarian women cash if they have lots of Hungarian babies. Couples will be offered interest-free loans of 10m forint (£27,400; $36,000), which will be written off after they have three children. It’s not clear if the couple still have to be together at this point. But […]

Tell me more...!