Remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds being backed by vulture capitalists

Donald Trump urges Europe to repatriate IS fighters – and shoot them!

Turner Old Master found in rubble: Ex-teacher Brian Turner doing well after his ordeal

“Salsa is supposed to keep you fit,” said Roscoe Arbuckle. “But I ate 5 bottles a day and I haven’t lost an ounce!”

Prolific Facebook “Liker” Simon Miles ordered to stop Liking everything – he doesn’t Like it.

Thieves broke into Battersea Dogs Home. No animals were taken but police are looking for leads. A spokesman for Battersea said: “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

A vandal broke into the Tate Gallery and made up Tracy Emin’s “My Bed”. Police are looking for a criminal who’s had a good night’s sleep

Movie business to make a movie about the business of making a movie in the movie business

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Birmingham bin workers strike over ‘poor equipment’ claims. A council spokesman said: “That’s absolute rubbish!”

In a bid to tackle herd mentality, Facebook bans mental patients with hearing difficulties

How to spot a fashion rip-off – the original garment costs ten times what it’s worth!

You CAN die laughing – although not at a Michael McIntye show

Catalytic converters stolen for precious metals. Police search for culprits was exhautive… But plans to prosecute dealers receiving the metal have been scrapped

Government passes Deferred Gratification bill. It comes into effect in 2050

Narcissus updates Faccebook relationship status to “Me”. Zuckerberg updates his status to “God”

James Pattison to stop collaborating with co-authors. His next solo book is due out in2035

Hotel California – guests check out and leave! One said: “The pink champagne was a nice surprise and the band was good but the guitar solo did go on a bit…”

Government crackdown on unregistered protests has lead to an increase in unregistered protests

Tag Archives for " World "

Football transfers: Top clubs bidding for these star players

You get a lot more footballers for your money here

One manager, who did not want to be named, said: “These top performers are cheaper than current signings and far more entertaining.” Ref: BBC News Are robots getting better at football? ‘Hand of god’ or a massive cheat? Discuss How much would you pay for a season ticket? (Note: this information will go to the […]

Tell me more...!

Village holds record for holding the most records

If a village held the record for holding the most records, the least it could do would be to install a funicular

“It’s a record,” says the Guinness Book of Records. The village of Ware-on-the-Whey recently made record book history by becoming the village whose inhabitants hold the most records: an astounding 231. Here are just a few of the amazing records this village holds. Dan Dugdale holds the record for the World’s smallest garden consisting of […]

Tell me more...!

Zuckerberg’s lunch money seized after Facebook data scandal

Mark Zuckerberg pleads with the FTC not to seize his lunch money as it's all that's standing between him and a slap up lunch at the Ritz

The FTC (Federal Trade Commission) has ordered Mark Zuckerberg‘s lunch allowance to be seized following allegations that Facebook has been gathering data on its users. Data the company gathered includes users’ friends and family, where they live, where they went to school, the name of their pet and their favourite swear word. In many cases […]

Tell me more...!
19, June 2019

US deploys chefs to protect beef burger supplies as White House pulls out of burger deal

The US is deploying its top chefs to safeguard White House burger supplies

America has deployed 1,000 chefs to bakeries and butchers throughout Washington DC to ensure continuing supplies of burgers. The White House pulled out of an agreement with local burger suppliers guaranteeing to buy so-many burgers per week. When US President Donald Trump was off on jollies doing state visits and the like, the White House […]

Tell me more...!

Smart Apps force you to obey your smart phone. Read at your own risk

It'll never happen

A technology company has developed smart phone apps that force users to obey ‘hidden’ commands. Games and apps already make users check for updates and buy in-app ‘skills’ but HypnoTec has taken the principle a stage further. The FeelGood app produces a feeling of euphoria. Scientists say it’s not dissimilar to the effect of marijuana […]

Tell me more...!
13, June 2019

Woman passenger thrown out of taxi and jailed for offending driver’s religious beliefs by wearing black

Definitely a dress to wear to your ex's wedding but to get home, don't use a taxi driven by a religious zealot

A taxi driver stopped his cab and ordered a woman passenger to get out when he realised she was dressed totally in black. “It is against my religion to carry women wearing the colour of death in my cab,” the driver said. “When I realised she was dressed totally in black I immediately stopped the […]

Tell me more...!