Tag Archives for " Politics "
To be governor of the Bank of England you don’t have to be good at financial forecasting, just at making promises and not keeping them. A pathological liar or a political background would be ideal. Current incumbent, Canadian Mark Carney, continuously hinted at interest rate rises but back-stepped after failing to anticipate financial swings or […]Tell me more...!
Due to severe police funding cuts and increases in crime, the police have reached a “gentlemen’s agreement” with criminals. The police won’t pursue “petty crimes” if the criminals cut down on violent crime. In a dingy pub on the lower east side we met with an undercover police officer who cannot be named for fear […]Tell me more...!
With Extinction Rebellion arrests running into thousands, the UK is experiencing a “custodial accommodation” shortage. EU Human Rights law rules out options where they might otherwise be detained such as hostels for the homeless, temporary social housing and half-way houses. Therefore, detainees are now being held in hotels and B&Bs. A Home Office spokesperson said: […]Tell me more...!
Diane Abbott, Shadow Home Secretary, has apologised for drinking a can of M&S Mojito on a train. “I didn’t have time to do a proper shop,” she explained. “Otherwise I would have made my own. The M&S can was refreshing but hardly Tom Cruise standard,” she laughed, referencing the movie, Cocktail starring Tom Cruise. “I […]Tell me more...!
Due to the rise in life expectancy, the burgeoning cost of looking after the aged and reckless government spending, new laws will see ‘death duty’ applied when you reach 67. It will no longer be called Inheritance Tax (IHT) but DDT (Double Death Tax) and it will come into effect next year to minimise the […]Tell me more...!
To rejuvenate public interest in politics and politicians, the Commission for Electoral Reform has proposed politicians battle it out with jokes and one-liners. A spokesperson for the Commission said: “The electoral system is in dire need of an overhaul. “The population is fed up with politicians’ inability to make decisions and do the job they […]Tell me more...!
Kim Kardashian, 38, is famous for being famous. Or rather for being a famous offspring of her famous father, Robert Kardashian, who became famous for defending O.J. Simpson who was also famous although for the wrong reasons. Or maybe she became famous simply for having a big bum. So, famous for being a famous celebrity, […]Tell me more...!
A Football Association panel found Crystal Palace goalkeeper Wayne Hennessey, 32, not guilty of making a Nazi salute. Hennessey claimed he did not know what a Nazi salute was. The panel believed him and said it was the only “plausible explanation”. Billy Scran, 29, Centre Half with Antsy Northern Athletic, a team wallowing in the […]Tell me more...!