Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

During her visit to China UK PM, Theresa May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texas. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

Tag Archives for " Politics "

NHS to fine patients late for appointments to boost flagging coffers

NHS queues stretch around the playing field. No one wants to be late for their appointment. The doctors will be arriving in a few hours

NHS management to levy a £1-per-minute fine on patients. Ostensibly this is to encourage patients to arrive on time but privately, some management staff admitted it was to boost the NHS’s budget. Mrs Dot Brimstone, 56, attends her local hospital on a weekly basis and said: “Blimey! If I’m late it’s because the bus was […]

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Sacked BBC presenter Danny Baker to return with “Baker’s the Gaffer”

This photo takes pride of place on Danny Baker's mantelpiece

BBC 5 Live’s ex-presenter Danny Baker is planning a return to broadcasting with a new show called “Baker’s the Gaffer”. Baker was sacked from the nanny broadcaster after posting a Tweet about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s baby. That’s Harry and Meghan as we love to call them. The BBC, which is happy to […]

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