Movie business to make a movie about the business of making a movie in the movie business

James Pattison to stop collaborating with co-authors. His next solo book is due out in2035

Thieves broke into Battersea Dogs Home. No animals were taken but police are looking for leads. A spokesman for Battersea said: “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Government passes Deferred Gratification bill. It comes into effect in 2050

Birmingham bin workers strike over ‘poor equipment’ claims. A council spokesman said: “That’s absolute rubbish!”

How to spot a fashion rip-off – the original garment costs ten times what it’s worth!

Remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds being backed by vulture capitalists

Prolific Facebook “Liker” Simon Miles ordered to stop Liking everything – he doesn’t Like it.

“Salsa is supposed to keep you fit,” said Roscoe Arbuckle. “But I ate 5 bottles a day and I haven’t lost an ounce!”

A vandal broke into the Tate Gallery and made up Tracy Emin’s “My Bed”. Police are looking for a criminal who’s had a good night’s sleep

Government crackdown on unregistered protests has lead to an increase in unregistered protests

Hotel California – guests check out and leave! One said: “The pink champagne was a nice surprise and the band was good but the guitar solo did go on a bit…”

In a bid to tackle herd mentality, Facebook bans mental patients with hearing difficulties

Catalytic converters stolen for precious metals. Police search for culprits was exhautive… But plans to prosecute dealers receiving the metal have been scrapped

Turner Old Master found in rubble: Ex-teacher Brian Turner doing well after his ordeal

Narcissus updates Faccebook relationship status to “Me”. Zuckerberg updates his status to “God”

Donald Trump urges Europe to repatriate IS fighters – and shoot them!

You CAN die laughing – although not at a Michael McIntye show

Tag Archives for " Politics "

24, May 2019

US file 117 new charges against Assange, cats and free speech

US anti-justice department has levelled several additional allegations against WikiLeaks co-founder Julian Assange. We can’t list all the charges but they include: Being Julian Assange Telling people what the US is really wasting spending their money on Sucking up to the bastard Ecuadorians Keeping a cat Revealing the skulduggery the US is really up to […]

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23, May 2019

Labour calls for nationalisation of failing Jamie Oliver restaurants

Would you rather your town looked like this or like Teesside? Can you tell the difference? Awe, gimme an over-priced pizza

The current epidemic of failing companies has lead to a crisis in many boardrooms. Labour has advocated nationalising all companies which are going under in order to protect businesses, jobs and communities. Jamie Oliver’s restaurants are one of the latest businesses to suffer., With their over-priced food and smarmy serving staff the restaurant chain was […]

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22, May 2019

LGBT school protests: religious groups tell each other where to go

Locked in a prison of their own making, even love won't set them free (yes, we do pathos, too)

In Birmingham (UK, not Alabama) , radical Muslims protested against a school teachingpupils about LGBT equality. The Safer Streets Association protested against Muslims sending their children to schools abroad to become terrorists. The Muslims accused them of Islamophobia. The Association accused the Muslims of homophobia, Anglophobia and asked who were the ones wearing dresses. Several […]

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21, May 2019

Milkshakes banned at rallies. Activists throw burgers, condoms and fur coats

Several prominent figures have had milkshakes and ice cream thrown at them during political rallies. Police asked McDonald’s and other shops near to future rallies not to sell milkshakes or ice cream while the rally is taking place. A police spokesperson said: “This is, admittedly, for the less-intelligent activist who would not consider buying a […]

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