Tag Archives for " Politics "
A 96-year old paraplegic woman confined to a wheelchair was acquitted of charges of murder, grievous bodily harm and assault with a deadly weapon after accidentally killing a burglar with a ballpoint pen. Denis Ogden, 27, broke into the home of 96-year old war veteran Elizabeth Sanders-Smith. He threatened her with a samurai sword and […]Tell me more...!
The BBC has cancelled all its news programs after revising its broadcasting guidelines. We spoke to a BBC spokeswoman because she was far cheaper than a spokesman. She told us that the decision revolved around a story in which a man in a road traffic accident was interviewed and confessed to drinking and driving. He […]Tell me more...!
As dog IQ increases and human IQ decreases, dogs are still set to take over the world by 2050. However, by that time humans will have so fucked-up the planet that there won’t be much left for the dogs to take over. Zak is a 4-year old Border Collie, currently reckoned to be the smartest […]Tell me more...!
The inevitable catastrophe of climate change has been compounded by a UN report revealing that humans are killing over one million animal and plant species. That’s over a quarter of life on the planet, excluding humans, of course, and the inhabitants of America. The world population has doubled since 1970, due to low-quality condoms, child […]Tell me more...!
According to the Committee on Climate Change, the UK can cut greenhouse gas emissions to zero by 2050. Here are 17 other things the UK can do by 2050: Ensure all bins are collected and emptied on a weekly basis Create a sustainable green energy system Provide a living wage for all inhabitants Make pigs […]Tell me more...!
The influx of tourist to Wales’ mountains has revealed severe problems for visitors. There is a shortage of parking, toilets, refreshment facilities, and too many locals are speaking in a Welsh accent. The popularity of beauty spots such as Snowdon and Pen y Fan is because they are beauty spots. And mountains. At 1085m Snowdon […]Tell me more...!
According to the Actuarial Social Society, the life expectancy of UK citizens has dropped dramatically over the past two years. A spokesperson said: “It’s a combination of poor nutrition, money worries and waiting for the next episode of Game of Thrones. “Plus, people are no longer eating an apple a day as their parent and […]Tell me more...!
Theresa May was in rapturous mood following local election results, and gave a speech outside Number 10. “The result show once and for all that the electorate are behind us in our policies and our handling of Brexit. “Labour has been decimated. The Liberal Democrats, the Greens and the other parties are in disarray. “We […]Tell me more...!