Tag Archives for " Business "
In a leaked memo, it’s been revealed that Universities are adding a new secret test to all student applications. The Chancellor of a University he did not want to be named said: “While we happily accept all students regardless of race, sexual orientation or economic background, we cannot compromise on intellectual ability, common sense or […]Tell me more...!
Feature by guest reporter David Layzelle Following criticism of its stance on party politics, Brexit, and the Trump administration, the BBC has announced a new interview policy. BBC Chairman, Lord Tony Hall, issued an edict stating that every statement made by a politician should be questioned for authenticity. With the BBC Royal Charter, and his […]Tell me more...!
The FTC (Federal Trade Commission) has ordered Mark Zuckerberg‘s lunch allowance to be seized following allegations that Facebook has been gathering data on its users. Data the company gathered includes users’ friends and family, where they live, where they went to school, the name of their pet and their favourite swear word. In many cases […]Tell me more...!
NHS management to levy a £1-per-minute fine on patients. Ostensibly this is to encourage patients to arrive on time but privately, some management staff admitted it was to boost the NHS’s budget. Mrs Dot Brimstone, 56, attends her local hospital on a weekly basis and said: “Blimey! If I’m late it’s because the bus was […]Tell me more...!
Strong arm men who threaten people who owe their bosses money have a new method of intimidation. They send them a delivery from a dirty take-away restaurant. In most cases the aim is to intimidate rather than permanently main or kill. Otherwise how would they repay what they owe? Using a third-party company like a […]Tell me more...!
Facebook is launching a new digital currency which it expects to take over from national currencies like the US Dollar, the UK Pound, the Euro and the Venezuelan Bolivar. Called the Lyar, it will be pegged to the pot of gold buried in Mark Zuckerberg‘s back garden. The currency will initially be given to those […]Tell me more...!
A new government initiative to improve student grades and exam results is being trialled by exam board Edexcel. A spokesperson said: “Several exam papers were leaked over the past few years and we noticed a sharp increase in correct answers. “We put two and two together and deduced that the leaked papers must have contributed […]Tell me more...!
The BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) is in dire straits. Its management team is struggling to pay themselves their pitiful salaries and keep the BBC running at its current level of inefficiency. “The presenters want sooooo much money,” moaned head honcho, director general Tony Hall, who is, understandably, finding it difficult to manage on his meagre […]Tell me more...!