Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texan. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

During her visit to China UK PM, Thereas May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Tag Archives for " Art & Entertainment "

BBC cancels News programs after man interviewed in road accident dies

BBC cancels its News programs after death of interviewee. Where the heck will we go now for our unbiased news?

The BBC has cancelled all its news programs after revising its broadcasting guidelines. We spoke to a BBC spokeswoman because she was far cheaper than a spokesman. She told us that the decision revolved around a story in which a man in a road traffic accident was interviewed and confessed to drinking and driving. He […]

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Government solves Welsh mountain queue problems by making them hills

Mount Snowdon is now Hill Snowdon. The Welsh will no longer be plagued by hoards of tourists who will now be shuffled off to Scotland

The influx of tourist to Wales’ mountains has revealed severe problems for visitors. There is a shortage of parking, toilets, refreshment facilities, and too many locals are speaking in a Welsh accent. The popularity of beauty spots such as Snowdon and Pen y Fan is because they are beauty spots. And mountains. At 1085m Snowdon […]

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Game of Thrones responsible for drop in life expectancy

Is Game of Thrones shortening your life?

According to the Actuarial Social Society, the life expectancy of UK citizens has dropped dramatically over the past two years. A spokesperson said: “It’s a combination of poor nutrition, money worries and waiting for the next episode of Game of Thrones. “Plus, people are no longer eating an apple a day as their parent and […]

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31, March 2019

Dry business books prompt government to introduce new book rating system

New rating system toimprove the quality of books - but not business books!

The need for a book rating system was prompted by complaints that business books were dry, boring and uninteresting. A spokesperson for the Department for Education said: “We want previously dry and boring business books to be as interesting as a Dan Brown thriller. Well, a thriller at any rate.” A team of literary experts […]

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29, March 2019

“Unsuitable advertising” banned. “We’re really good at banning things,” said minister

In response to intense lobbying by anti-gaming campaigners, the major sports betting companies have agreed to ban betting adverts during live sports broadcasting events. Secretary of State for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport, Jeremy Wright MP, said: “It is vital children and vulnerable people are protected from the threat of gambling-related harm.” The ban doesn’t […]

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Celebrities queue up to apologise for anything they may have said that may have caused offence to anyone anywhere at any time ever

John Wayne came back from the dead to apologise for being a Republican!

Celebrities, TV personalities, soap performers, other non-entities and many politicians – apart from Donald Trump, Theresa May, and Jeremy Corbyn – are falling over themselves to make public apologies. Following outcries and shaming by the “We will be outraged for you” vociferous minority group, celebrities and others in the public eye are in fear for […]

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Entertainment industry sales fall dramatically as customers fear buying material by future sex offenders. “That’s nothing compared to what the church is still doing,” says entertainment rep

Do bad people make bad art? Should you watch or listen to it? You decide!

The entertainment industry has seen a dramatic drop in sales as customers are increasingly afraid to buy products connected to stars, producers and musicians who may later be outed as sex offenders. One fan, who declined to be named, said: “You just never know who’s going to be next. I’ve had to discretely dispose of […]

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