Donald Trump urges Europe to repatriate IS fighters – and shoot them!

James Pattison to stop collaborating with co-authors. His next solo book is due out in2035

A vandal broke into the Tate Gallery and made up Tracy Emin’s “My Bed”. Police are looking for a criminal who’s had a good night’s sleep

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Prolific Facebook “Liker” Simon Miles ordered to stop Liking everything – he doesn’t Like it.

Government crackdown on unregistered protests has lead to an increase in unregistered protests

Hotel California – guests check out and leave! One said: “The pink champagne was a nice surprise and the band was good but the guitar solo did go on a bit…”

Thieves broke into Battersea Dogs Home. No animals were taken but police are looking for leads. A spokesman for Battersea said: “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Government passes Deferred Gratification bill. It comes into effect in 2050

Narcissus updates Faccebook relationship status to “Me”. Zuckerberg updates his status to “God”

How to spot a fashion rip-off – the original garment costs ten times what it’s worth!

Birmingham bin workers strike over ‘poor equipment’ claims. A council spokesman said: “That’s absolute rubbish!”

Turner Old Master found in rubble: Ex-teacher Brian Turner doing well after his ordeal

Remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds being backed by vulture capitalists

You CAN die laughing – although not at a Michael McIntye show

“Salsa is supposed to keep you fit,” said Roscoe Arbuckle. “But I ate 5 bottles a day and I haven’t lost an ounce!”

Catalytic converters stolen for precious metals. Police search for culprits was exhautive… But plans to prosecute dealers receiving the metal have been scrapped

Movie business to make a movie about the business of making a movie in the movie business

In a bid to tackle herd mentality, Facebook bans mental patients with hearing difficulties

Tag Archives for " Art & Entertainment "

17, September 2019

Russian ‘extreme proposal’ gag goes wrong as fiancée blows up car

Extreme proposal: Alexei didn't get the girl but he did get a massive bill for a burned-out car

‘Extreme proposals’ are very popular in Russia. They typically involve the fiancée being harassed by fake police on a fake charge and then her fiancé jumps in and pops the question. However, one extreme proposal went wrong when Alexei pulled the stunt on his fiancée Helga. Unknown to Alexei who thought Helga worked in administration, […]

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16, September 2019

Employers must pay workers for ‘sex on the job’

It wasn't just the lingerie that Dick put on his expenses claim form...

A landmark ruling means that employees who travel for work are entitled to be paid for ‘home comforts’ while away and should not suffer ‘deprivation’ through ‘inadequate facilities’. The case was brought by Dick Richards, 55, a travelling salesman who was away from home for six months of the year. He submitted an expenses claim […]

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Tourists’ bums banned from Rome

A funny thing happened to tourists on their way to the Roman Forum...

A new law passed in Rome has banned anyone from sitting on the capital’s famous Spanish Steps. The Scalinata di Trinità dei Monti is one of Rome‘s most famous landmarks where tourists gather to eat pizza, pretend to be Italian, and talk loudly but not about the weather, not even the British. However, new laws […]

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Italy in revolt as court bans designer clothes

In a move towards egalitarianism, the Italian Supreme Court has ruled that it is illegal to wear expensive designer clothes, drive expensive sports cars or eat at expensive ‘fine dining’ restaurants. The ruling has set Italian haute couture society reeling and even sent peasant-class Italians in their string vests out in the streets to protest. […]

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4, August 2019

I only have eyes for you, but you should see what I’ve got for your sister

OVERHEARD AT WEDDING RECEPTION BRIDE: You had your tongue down her bloody throat. GROOM: Awe, come on Love, I thought she was you, you look so much alike. BRIDE: She IS my sister— GROOM: See— BRIDE: But she’s 10 years younger, dressed in black and she’s not seven-months pregnant. GROOM: I know, but your faces […]

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