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A vandal broke into the Tate Gallery and made up Tracy Emin’s “My Bed”. Police are looking for a criminal who’s had a good night’s sleep

Narcissus updates Faccebook relationship status to “Me”. Zuckerberg updates his status to “God”

“Salsa is supposed to keep you fit,” said Roscoe Arbuckle. “But I ate 5 bottles a day and I haven’t lost an ounce!”

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Prolific Facebook “Liker” Simon Miles ordered to stop Liking everything – he doesn’t Like it.

Thieves broke into Battersea Dogs Home. No animals were taken but police are looking for leads. A spokesman for Battersea said: “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Government passes Deferred Gratification bill. It comes into effect in 2050

Movie business to make a movie about the business of making a movie in the movie business

Government crackdown on unregistered protests has lead to an increase in unregistered protests

Turner Old Master found in rubble: Ex-teacher Brian Turner doing well after his ordeal

Hotel California – guests check out and leave! One said: “The pink champagne was a nice surprise and the band was good but the guitar solo did go on a bit…”

How to spot a fashion rip-off – the original garment costs ten times what it’s worth!

Remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds being backed by vulture capitalists

James Pattison to stop collaborating with co-authors. His next solo book is due out in2035

Donald Trump urges Europe to repatriate IS fighters – and shoot them!

Birmingham bin workers strike over ‘poor equipment’ claims. A council spokesman said: “That’s absolute rubbish!”

You CAN die laughing – although not at a Michael McIntye show

In a bid to tackle herd mentality, Facebook bans mental patients with hearing difficulties

Catalytic converters stolen for precious metals. Police search for culprits was exhautive… But plans to prosecute dealers receiving the metal have been scrapped

7, October 2019

Shaking hands now racist says ADL

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The two women have witnessed an alt-right racist handshake. They will now have to run away quickly or pretend to be racist

The two women have witnessed an alt-right racist handshake. They will now have to run away quickly or pretend to be racist

The ADL (Anti-Defamation League), not to be confused with the EDL (English Defence League) which they are very anti, or EDL Energy or, indeed, EDF Energy which they probably couldn’t give two hoots about…

Anyway, ADL has drawn up a new list of social interactions we all need to be aware of to avoid being classed as racist.

One give-away that you’re a racist is smiling at someone.

Alt-right groups smile in a particular way so they can identify each other. If you’re not ‘in the know’ you could easily be accidentally giving out signals that class you as racist.

This is not so much of a problem in London where people never smile, so be especially wary if someone there smiles at you – they could be a racist.

The ADL also recommends you avoid shaking hands. There are so many ways to convey special signals in a handshake such as pressing down with the thumb, squeezing gently or, really, just shaking hands.

Any of these gestures could be interpreted as a special alt-right identification sign and you could be classed as racist.

This is not so much a problem in London as people hardly ever shake hands there.

Top of the ADL list is talking.

This is a minefield.

It’s so easy to say something inadvertently to make people think you’re part of an alt-right group such as “I’m part of an alt-right group”. It’s the sort of statement that might slip out innocently in conversation.

This would almost certainly get you classed as racist.

But even if you manage to avoid such remarks in conversation, another top taboo is mentioning a colour. In relation to anything.

This is an absolute no-no. If may make buying certain types of clothes and goods difficult but better that than be classed a racist.

Talking is not so much a problem in London as no one talks to anyone else, there anyway.

Ref: BBC News OK hand sign added to list of hate symbols


How do you usually let people know you’re a member of an alt-right group?
What will you miss most about not talking (unless you live in London)?
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