During her visit to China UK PM, Theresa May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texas. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

26, June 2019

Scientists finally discover just exactly what kind of woman is US President Donald Trump’s ‘type’

You are awesome for sharing

"Not my type. It never happened. She just wants the attention. She's lying. I don't recall. Never met her. She's in it for the money."

“Not my type. It never happened. She just wants the attention. She’s lying. I don’t recall. Never met her. She’s in it for the money.”

 

FEMALE

 

Ref: BBC News Trump says sexual assault accuser E Jean Carroll ‘not my type’


How many different excuses for not assaulting a woman can you think of that Trump hasn’t used yet?
From a woman’s point of view, what’s Trump’s best feature?
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