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25, June 2019

School ‘prepares pupils for life’ with ‘best boobs’ questionnaire

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"Mr Dowson's got the tightest trousers and is most likely to be gay. Come to think of it, he probably has the best boobs, too."

“Mr Dowson’s got the tightest trousers and is most likely to be gay. Come to think of it, he probably has the best boobs, too.”

In a bid to ‘toughen up’ pupils and prepare them for life outside school, on social media and in an office environment a school sent 14- and 15-year old pupils a series of ‘social acceptance’ tests.

The school, which cannot be named for fear it may be burned down, is based in the Home Counties.

The pupils were asked questions in two categories: peers and teachers.

They were asked to name their peers in the following categories:

  • Biggest nonce
  • Biggest cry-baby
  • Biggest swot
  • Biggest snitch
  • Biggest bully
  • Least hygienic
  • Fewest friends
  • Least intelligent
  • Least likely to succeed
  • Most boring
  • Most up their own arse
  • Most likely to have a mental disorder
  • Most likely to be unemployable
  • Most likely to get pregnant before leaving school
  • Most likely to sponge off the state their whole life
  • Most likely to be a druggy
  • Most likely to end up in prison
  • Most socially inept
  • Most racist
  • Most sexist
  • Most likely to join ISIS

They were also asked to name their teachers according to the following:

  • Best boobs
  • Tightest trousers
  • Most likely to be gay
  • Most sadistic
  • Most likely to die alone
  • Most likely to spit in the head’s coffee
  • Most likely to be screwing another member of staff

The head defended the questionnaire saying these were the sort of judgements pupils would find applied to themselves when they left school. He said it was essential that they understand the realities of being an adult and learn to ‘take it on the chin’.

“The trouble with education today,” he said. “Is that it teaches pupils nothing about life.”

Ref: BBC News Hugh Christie School asks for ‘best looking’ pupil votes


Which one of your teachers had the best boobs or tightest trousers?
When you did the questionnaire, how many of your peers were you right about?
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