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Republicans affirm right to be as dumb as shit

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Conservatives would not want to attempt an around the world trip as there is a very real danger they may fall off the edge

Conservatives would not want to attempt an around the world trip as there is a very real danger they may fall off the edge

Republicans are concerned that proposed legislation will threaten a person’s moral and religious right to believe in dumb shit that is demonstrably untrue.

These include such commonly-held beliefs as:

  • The Earth is flat
  • Vaccines are bad for your health
  • Climate change isn’t real
  • The Sun orbits the Earth
  • The moon is made from green cheese

A spokesperson for the Conservative Union and National Troop said: “We may be dumb asses but we’ve a constitutional right to be dumb asses, and who says the moon’s not made of cheese? Have any of you guys been there? Personally? Have you?”

Opponents of the bill say no one should undertake a trip if they think they will fall off the edge of the world. This may explain why so many Americans never leave their home state.

The spokesperson added: “If people want to expose their children to killer diseases by refusing vaccinations, that’s their god-given right.

“If people want to run fuel-gobbling cars and trucks, and if a business produces waste as a result of giving the good people of this country honest employment, who’s to tell them that’s not right?

“As for the Earth moving round the Sun… Lookee here – just stand in an open space and you can see the Sun moving. We’re not the ones moving as your eyes will affirm. That’s called empirical evidence, that is.

“No siree. We say let every man, woman and child make their own decision, however ill-informed. It’s the American way.”

Ref: BBC News Equality bill: Why you can still be fired in US for being gay


What’s the dumbest thing you believe that isn’t true?
How many times have you fallen off the edge of the world? Be honest, now
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