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26, September 2019

Queen places small ad for Royal Executioner

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By Royal Appointment: with the current level of redundancies, the position is not expected to be short of applicants

By Royal Appointment: with the current level of redundancies, the position is not expected to be short of applicants

A small ad in the back pages of Private Eye magazine reads:

WANTED: discreet gentleman to perform state duty on rare occasions. Yearly stipend. Would suit sushi chef or disgraced abattoir worker. Must have own axe. Box XXX

 

The reply is to a private Box number which has been traced in the past to Palace officials.

It’s well-known that Private Eye is one of the Queen‘s favourite magazines and is delivered by hand in a plain brown envelope to one of the Palace’s back doors. A Palace insider confirmed that the magazine is placed in the Royal privy and is quickly ‘used up’.

The Palace officially denied placing the ad.

The Palace insider reported that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was “extremely vexed” at being dragged into the political spotlight and had, in private, considered reinstating some “constitutional formalities” which would “dissuade” others from “taking advantage of one.”

The Palace source added that commissions had already been sent out for a butcher’s block, some straw, a large wicker basket and several bottles of Domestos.

They added that the Duke of Edinburgh thought it would be “rather jolly” to see a mop of hair mounted on a spike by Traitors’ Gate.

The Queen is said to be considering the idea but said: “One constitutional reform at a time.”

Ref: BBC News Supreme Court ruling leaves Queen in middle of political storm


What’s the worst constitutional scandal you’ve been responsible for?
How sharp is your axe?
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