The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texan. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

During her visit to China UK PM, Thereas May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

5, June 2019

“Poverty?” says Hammond. “What poverty?”

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Philip Hammond on UN poverty report: "Look around you; that's not what we see."

Philip Hammond on UN poverty report: “Look around you; that’s not what we see.”

UK Chancellor Philip Hammond rejected a United Nations report that Tory austerity had plunged millions into poverty, often with “tragic consequences”.

Ref: BBC News Hammond: I reject idea millions live in dire poverty


Should Hammond get new glasses or should Britain get a new Chancellor?
Why does the UN insist on upsetting the Tories with unpleasant facts?
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