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29, April 2019

Political jokes outlawed. Politicians declared protected species

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Political jokes banned. Politicians now a protected faeces (oops)

Political jokes banned. Politicians now a protected faeces (oops)

After years of jokes and satirical remarks about the incompetence, the greed and the deceitfulness of MPs, the government has passed a bill declaring all MPs a ‘protected species’.

No one will be allowed to take pot shots at them, literally or figuratively, under pain of incarceration and removal of their typing fingers.

Undercover police will be stationed at comedy clubs to ensure no comedian cracks any political jokes. Although not in uniform, they will be wearing black shirts to blend in with the gloomy club atmosphere.

Newspapers have been ordered to sack their political cartoonists, many of whom have gone underground to produce illegal cartoon hand-outs. You can find them in most cities if you know which back alleys to visit.

On-line publications including The Onion and The Daily Mash have been blocked although knowledgeable web users can still access the sites through proxy servers.

Recordings of TV programs such as Spitting Image; Yes, Minister; and Drop the Dead Donkey have been destroyed. Current ‘news event’ programs including Mock the Week and Have I Got News for You have been immediately cancelled.

YouTube has been ordered to remove all clips and excerpts which make any reference to any politician or political topic.

Publications such as Private Eye have been shut down although they are expected to continue running as an underground operation.

Private Eye editor, Ian Hislop, said: “If we’re no longer official, no one will be able to sue us. It’s an ill wind…”

One MP, who wanted to remain anonymous but who had a posh southern accent, said: “It’s jolly well hard enough doing our job without every Tom, Dick and Harry having a go.

“Even if we did take a long time to order pizza, these decisions aren’t easy.”

A spokesperson for the newly-formed Ministry of Anti-Political Affairs added: “You don’t make fun of the Irish, Muslims or black people any more. Why should MPs be any different?

“Besides, freedom of speech has always been over-rated!”


Is freedom of speech over-rated?
Should there be legal restritions on what you can tell jokes about (more than there already are)?
Tell us your favourite non-PC joke, anyway.
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