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25, October 2019

People who ‘go to the toilet’ in shower responsible for 93% of global warming

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Don't 'go to the toilet' in the bath or shower - the Royals never do - because you're killing the planet

Don’t ‘go to the toilet’ in the bath or shower – the Royals never do – because you’re killing the planet

A team of scientists studying global warming has discovered an incredible link between climate change and indoor plumbing.

Since indoor plumbing became mainstream in the mid-1900s the Earth‘s temperature began to rise.

Scientists investigating the phenomenon realised that, with the introduction of plumbing, individuals were no longer using the WC for their toilet needs but, instead, started using the bath and the shower.,

When taking a shower became more popular than taking a bath in the late 1900s, climate change and the increase of the Earth‘s temperature began to rapidly increase.

Professor David Yikes Bsc who was in charge of the research said: “The evidence is pretty conclusive. With the introduction of indoor plumbing, many people had a wee in the bath but when showers became popular it allowed people to entirely ‘go to the toilet’ in the shower and clean themselves afterwards.

“The bathing drainage system is not designed to handle this type of waste. The resulting effluence ends up in drainage sites. It ferments creating gasses which are released into the atmosphere leading to an increase in the Earth’s temperature.”

Professor Yikes continued: “Although bath and shower drainage outlets are not designed to process solids, people seem quite happy to stuff their waste down the little holes with no care for the consequences.

“The effect of the methane produced by cows pales into insignificance compared to this.”

When asked if there were any practical solutions to the problem, Professor Yikes replied: “Education is, of course, the best way to change people’s habits.

“However, it takes a long time and politicians don’t support it because they’ll be out of power before they see the results.

“Interestingly, it’s something the Royals never do. They never confuse bathing with toiletry needs. Breeding will out, you see

“The only other practical solution is to fit a mesh over the drainage hole which would make it impractical to try to stuff solids through it. Or course, where there’s a will there’s a way and some people would do it or even remove the mesh entirely. However, it would considerably ease the problem.”

The Professor left saying: “Do excuse me, I need to look for a shower loo.”

Do you ‘go to the toilet’ in the shower? Be honest
Assuming climate change is real, who is to blame for it?
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