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NHS queues stretch around the playing field. No one wants to be late for their appointment. The doctors will be arriving in a few hours

NHS queues stretch around the playing field. No one wants to be late for their appointment. The doctors will be arriving in a few hours

NHS management to levy a £1-per-minute fine on patients. Ostensibly this is to encourage patients to arrive on time but privately, some management staff admitted it was to boost the NHS’s budget.

Mrs Dot Brimstone, 56, attends her local hospital on a weekly basis and said: “Blimey! If I’m late it’s because the bus was late. They ought to fine the bloody bus company, not me.”

Arnold Wetherby, 74, said: “Whenever I go I have to wait an hour to be seen. How about they pay us when we’re kept waiting?”

When we put this question to a minister in the Health Department they said: “That’s not the way the system works.”

Darren Winston, 58, said: “Quite right, too. Far too often have I been sitting for half an hour in the waiting area only to see some ne-er-do-well arrive late and be seen straight away. It’s simply not British.”

Neil Hamster from Patient Interest Special Services said: “This will stop people who need treatment making appointments for fear they will be fined.

“It’ll open the door for back-street doctors and unlicensed practitioners. It’ll be like going back to the Dark Ages.”

The Treasury said the new scheme would make the NHS self-funding. Unless everyone arrived on time which, given the state of our transport system, was most unlikely.

The plan is set to be approved by the current Tory government which  hates putting money into the NHS.

Ref: BBC News MPs ‘staggered’ by NHS fines ‘complacency’


What’s your favourite hospital wall colour – vomit green or puke yellow?
If you had a pound for every minute you’d been kept waiting in a NHS hospital, would you go private?
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