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23, September 2019

Mugs predict Lib Dem election victory

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The Corbyn mug: full of steamy goodness - but don't dip your biscuit in it

The Corbyn mug: full of steamy goodness – but don’t dip your biscuit in it

At this year’s Lib Dem conference, the Lib Dems devised a new method of predicting the winner of the next general election: mugs.

Traditionally, mugs featuring the faces of Lib Dem MPs are sold as souvenirs, and serve to indicate the most popular members.

At this year’s conference the executive introduced mugs of Boris Johnson and Jeremy Corbyn.

17 Jeremy Corbyn mugs were sold. Three were found by a cleaner smashed into tiny pieces in a rubbish bin.

The cleaner said: “It looked like someone hit them with a hammer for a very long time. I wouldn’t like to meet them in an alley on a dark night.”

Three mugs were found under seats, the others in the toilets: four in the Gents and seven in the Ladies. All had been used by delegates to relieve themselves.

The most impressive was one under a seat which had been filled with ‘solid’ relief.

The cleaner remarked: “Good aim.”

The committee is looking at seating plans and sales receipts although a spokesperson said no one is sure whether to congratulate or remonstrate with the offenders.

Only one Boris Johnson mug was sold. Following the same reasoning as those who bought the Corbyn mug, delegates obviously thought he wasn’t worth the bother.

The mug turned out to have been bought by a drunken delegate who thought it featured a photo of a panda which he was going to give to his little girl. Someone is going to be disappointed.

At the final tally, to the surprise of all, by far the greatest number of mugs sold featured Lib Dem leader Jo Swinson.

The executive confidently predicted this proved the Lib Dems would win the next general election.

And there was no one in the room to disagree with them.

Ref: BBC News Five things from the Lib Dem conference

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