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26, February 2019

Michael McIntyre plummets in comedy ratings – “You’re only as good as your last joke,” he says. “And mine was crap.”

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Michael McIntyre's last sell-out show!

Michael McIntyre’s last sell-out show!

Michael McIntyre, who dropped out of the UK’s Top Ten list of funniest comedians, moaned: “I should have done mobile phone chargers and not trains. People don’t think trains are funny anymore. The train companies overcharge for tickets, cancel services, and the trains are usually late. There’s nothing funny in that if you use trains.

“Sometimes I forget what it’s like to be a common person when I’m riding around in my chauffeur-driven limo.”

Convinced he’ll bounce back if he can regain the common touch, McIntyre, 43, from swanky and expensive Hampstead, confessed he has been thinking of selling up and moving back to his roots in Merton, London.

“Of course, I’d have to leave the wife and kids,” he said. “I couldn’t subject them to such deprivation. But they’re becoming a bit of a pain, always asking me why I’m no longer funny. It’s very depressing.”

He admitted trying to hire joke writers to improve his material but said no one wanted to “write down” to his level. “I tried pretending I was Frankie Boyle but I couldn’t do the accent.

Although his critics may say he’s passed his best, McIntyre believes the best is yet to come. “You’re only as good as your last joke,” he said, “And mine was crap. I’ll have to write more material about common things like the wife and kids. That’ll put me back in the spotlight.

“Here’s one,” he said. “I have two boys, Lucas and Oscar. I told a friend I was going to get Oscar by which I meant pick him up from school. My friend thought I’d won an Oscar!

“Okay, I’ll work on that…!”

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