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15, July 2019

Met warns press not to publish cartoons making them look silly

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"It's the cutbacks, see? If we are not allocated a car we produce a noise like a siren as we proceed down the thoroughfare. People sharp get out the way. It's hilarious."

“It’s the cutbacks, see? If we are not allocated a car we produce a noise like a siren as we proceed down the thoroughfare. People sharp get out the way. It’s hilarious.”

A junior officer in the Metropolitan Police sent a warning to the press telling them not to make the Met look silly or else.

The warning came after a series of cartoons and articles appeared in several publications making fun of the Met’s inability to walk around without making a noise like a siren, enter a ‘premises’ without battering down the door, and start the day without seven cups of tea, And catch crooks.

The warning was met with derisions of laughter and the publication of a slurry of articles and cartoons. These included the Met’s PR department staffed by headless chickens. The vegetarian Society complained on grounds of incite to animal cruelty. The Met is looking into it.

The ‘or else’ part of the warning was left hanging but some members of the press suggested it might involve being dunked in lukewarm cups of tea or getting tear gas through the office windows.

The junior officer responsible has been sent on a Basic Law, Rights & Freedoms’ refresher course and relegated to tea duty for six months.

Inside sources say he narrowly missed a charge of bringing the Met into disrepute. One member of the press quipped that they didn’t need a clueless office junior to do that.

We await the sound of human sirens and the battering down of our door at three o’clock in the morning.

Ref: BBC News Ambassador row: Met Police criticised for warning off press


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