Remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds being backed by vulture capitalists

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Prolific Facebook “Liker” Simon Miles ordered to stop Liking everything – he doesn’t Like it.

Birmingham bin workers strike over ‘poor equipment’ claims. A council spokesman said: “That’s absolute rubbish!”

How to spot a fashion rip-off – the original garment costs ten times what it’s worth!

Donald Trump urges Europe to repatriate IS fighters – and shoot them!

Government passes Deferred Gratification bill. It comes into effect in 2050

Hotel California – guests check out and leave! One said: “The pink champagne was a nice surprise and the band was good but the guitar solo did go on a bit…”

James Pattison to stop collaborating with co-authors. His next solo book is due out in2035

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

In a bid to tackle herd mentality, Facebook bans mental patients with hearing difficulties

“Salsa is supposed to keep you fit,” said Roscoe Arbuckle. “But I ate 5 bottles a day and I haven’t lost an ounce!”

Government crackdown on unregistered protests has lead to an increase in unregistered protests

Catalytic converters stolen for precious metals. Police search for culprits was exhautive… But plans to prosecute dealers receiving the metal have been scrapped

A vandal broke into the Tate Gallery and made up Tracy Emin’s “My Bed”. Police are looking for a criminal who’s had a good night’s sleep

Movie business to make a movie about the business of making a movie in the movie business

Thieves broke into Battersea Dogs Home. No animals were taken but police are looking for leads. A spokesman for Battersea said: “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

You CAN die laughing – although not at a Michael McIntye show

Turner Old Master found in rubble: Ex-teacher Brian Turner doing well after his ordeal

4, September 2019

Melania’s shock photo reveals the real Donald Trump

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As the Slovakian joke goes: hair today - in the wash tomorrow (it may have lost something in translation)

As the Slovakian joke goes: hair today – in the wash tomorrow (it may have lost something in translation)

First Lady Melania Trump has broken with tradition and released a hitherto unseen photo of her husband, US President Donald Trump.

It shows the president as he really is, behind closed doors, without prosthetics, makeup or other image-enhancing aids. Except for his toupee. Unstyled.

Such ‘family snapshots’ are usually kept private or curated for special promotional and social occasions.

Melania Trump is an avid supporter of her husband and is not known for being outspoken or contentious on any issue.

The release of the photo came as a surprise. It shocked Trump watchers and has caused much speculation.

Some Melania followers think she may have released the wrong photo by mistake.

Others suggest it might be ‘payback’ for Mr Trump forgetting an important anniversary. But if that was the case we would surely have seen the aide whose job it is to remind the president of such things leaving with their personal effects in a box.

This revelation of the ‘real Donald Trump‘ may cause some small embarrassment for the president. However, he successfully shrugs off worse embarrassments than this on a daily basis.

But Trump opponents are wondering: if this is the real Donald Trump, is Melania also like this without makeup, what do Trump’s children look like ‘off stage’, and is America being governed by lizard/dinosaur creatures with small hands?

The White House has so far declined to comment on the photo saying it is a personal and private matter and not of national importance.

However, jokes are already circulating in foreign embassies and among diplomats which cannot be good for Mr Trump’s reputation or that of America.

One joke circulating in Russian embassies is:

You don’t shake hands with Trump – you shake fingers.

(It may have lost something in translation.)

Another came from a French source:

Question: What are Trump’s favourite animals?
Answer: Hamsters.

(Apparently “V” is very popular in France.)

Meanwhile Mr Trump continues his personal wish-fulfilment campaign to Make America’s Hands Big Again.

Ref: BBC News Did Donald Trump tweet classified military imagery?

Who is your favourite lizard person?
Would you marry someone with small hands?
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