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9, March 2019

Man loses vowels in rare middle-age speech dysfunction affliction. “Whts vryn n bt?” he asks

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Rodney Chimes - "Wht's wrng wth y lt?"

Rodney Chimes – “Wht’s wrng wth y lt?”

Rodney Chimes, 51, from Chester has lost the ability to pronounce vowels. “It started when he turned 50,” said his Wife, Loveday, 47. “He was worried about losing touch with our two boys and thought text speak was the way to reconnect. Now he can’t stop.

“It’s played havoc with his public speaking engagements although he is trying to get work with Apple and Samsung.

“He started going around saying things like ‘m dwn wth th kds nd m cl wth th br’ which hardly makes sense even in English.”

Dr Philip Filigree from the Royal Proboscis Hospital in Chester said: “This is an unusual case but not unheard of. It particularly affects middle-aged people, predominantly men, who are trying to regain something from their younger days by reverting to youth-like behaviour.

“They usually join a five-a-side team, buy a sports car or a motorbike but in Rodney’s case he’s reverted to text speak. It’s a psychosomatic disorder and he is not aware that anything is wrong. In fact he’s confused by everyone’s reaction to him. We’re treating him with psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy and we hope to get him back to normal although it may take a while.”

When asked for a comment, Mr Chimes said: “Wht’s th fss bt? Vryn’s trtng m lk m sm srt f frk. Hs th wrld gn md? WTF!”

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