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25, March 2019

Magistrates hand out jail time to Brexiteers

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Brexit or Bust. Don't knock or mock the status quo or you may go directly to jail

Brexit or Bust. Don’t knock or mock the status quo or you may go directly to jail

John Murphy, 31, was jailed for seven-and-a-half years for throwing an egg at Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.

Chief Magistrate and government supporter, Emma Arbuthnot who is married to a top Tory Lord, stroked her wig and said: “Hanging’s too good for you but it’s currently banned by law so I’m locking you up for as long as possible and hope you drop the soap in the shower.

“This is not only an attack on a political leader outside a very politically sensitive area,” she continued. “But an attack on British democracy, our sacred institutions, all British people everywhere, and our very way of life itself. Bugger any violation of your so-called civil rights.”

In a victim impact statement, aided and abetted by several police, Mr Corbyn said he was shocked and surprised that anyone would take offence at his lack of support for the democratic process by lobbying for a second referendum. “I think we should keep having referendums until we get the result that the country obviously wants,” he said.

In a following case at the same Magistrate’s Court, Sybil Monmouth, 37, who had tweeted that Theresa May had a head like a dead budgie had her Twitter account removed and was ordered to be remanded in custody until the UK leaves the EU or hell freezes over, whichever occurs first. Emma Arbuthnot said: “We will not have civilians making fun of our democratically elected politicians.”

In a second case, Peter Smiley, 97, was ordered to have his right hand cut off for entering the Visitors’ Gallery at the House of Commons and thumbing his nose at the assembled MPs. Emma Arbuthnot said such behaviour will not be tolerated.

A plea from Mr Smiley’s counsel that a stroke had left Mr Smiley’s left arm inoperable and he needed his right hand to function on a day-to-day basis fell on deaf ears.

Mr Smiley thumbed his nose at the court as he was physically dragged away by four armed officers.

On leaving the court, Mrs Arbuthnot was heard to remark: “Well, that’s a good day’s work done!”

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