Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

During her visit to China UK PM, Thereas May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texan. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

22, May 2019

LGBT school protests: religious groups tell each other where to go

You are awesome for sharing

Locked in a prison of their own making, even love won't set them free (yes, we do pathos, too)

Locked in a prison of their own making, even love won’t set them free (yes, we do pathos, too)

In Birmingham (UK, not Alabama) , radical Muslims protested against a school teachingpupils about LGBT equality. The Safer Streets Association protested against Muslims sending their children to schools abroad to become terrorists.

The Muslims accused them of Islamophobia. The Association accused the Muslims of homophobia, Anglophobia and asked who were the ones wearing dresses.

Several Jews walked past, thought the argument was about them and shouted “Anti Zionist”.

Everyone was momentarily confused.

A Christian contingent protested that Christianity was not given enough prominence in the school which was, after all, in the predominantly-Christian UK.

The Protestants said they ought to teach celibacy, especially to Catholic priests who seemed to be devout supporters of and participants in the LGBT movement.

The Catholics said pupils ought to be taught about natural birth control. When it was pointed out that same-sex relationships were the ultimate in natural birth control they suggested the UK should adopt the Nigerian age of consent as a show of world-wide solidarity and to get a lot of their clergy out of trouble.

The Unitarians took the moral high ground saying it was all one to them and urged Catholics and Protestants to agree to disagree.

A small group of Buddhists wondered what the fuss was about as they had embraced LBGT from the beginning.

A passing group of Hare Krishnas said gender was an illusion but good luck with it all anyway.

The LGBT community didn’t protest at all but hung hearts on the railings saying “Love is the Answer.”

Unfortunately, it obviously isn’t.

Editor’s note: If we have omitted any religious organisation that took part in the protest, – you should have been more vociferous.

Ref: BBC News Birmingham LGBT lessons: Head teacher threatened

Which is the most ridiculous religion? Pick as many as you want.
If you absolutely definitely had to join a religious sect, which would you pick? Jedi is an acceptable answer.
Leave a Comment below

You are awesome for sharing

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below

Leave a Reply: