The BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) is in dire straits.
Its management team is struggling to pay themselves their pitiful salaries and keep the BBC running at its current level of inefficiency.
“The presenters want sooooo much money,” moaned head honcho, director general Tony Hall, who is, understandably, finding it difficult to manage on his meagre £450,000 salary.
“We have to get more money from somewhere and it’s not coming out of my pocket that’s for fuckjng sure.
“Gary Lineker pulls in the football pundits. I know a lot of women don’t watch it and lots of people don’t like sport and it is, after all, a minority interest, but we do owe it to our viewers to cover these events.
“It’s £1.76m well spent in my opinion.
“And Graham Norton, even though I personally don’t take to his persona, has such a following that he is definitely worth every penny of his £610K.
“And Steve Wright. Who doesn’t love Steve Wright, eh? £560K is peanuts for a radio presenter.
“I do feel a bit sorry for Claudia Winkleman. I don’t know how she gets by on £380K but women will never earn as much as the men. It’s BBC culture, see.
“The point is, we need more money, pure and simple.”
The desperate state of the Beeb’s finances was confirmed by director of policy, Clare Sumner (pushing £200K), from her beach house in Marbella. “Even if we sacked everyone,” she said. “We still couldn’t run the BBC successfully.”
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn said the solution is to nationalise the BBC and then the company could spend and waste as much money as it wanted
Would you rather see the BBC nationalised or pay a £250 license fee?
Bloody pensioners have far too much money anyway. Discuss
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