“The benefits and advantages of the Berlin wall have been severely underestimated,” claimed EU president Jean-Claude Juncker.
“You never saw a rampant rise in house prices in East Berlin, did you?
“Our glorious EU wall will keep out the unwanted Brits and prevent the gentry and the retired from gazumping the prices of our European houses.
“When the UK finally leaves the EU we will no longer have to suffer their scandalous conversions of our hovels into places of desirable repose.
“Many of our
peasants people live an earthy existence and are happy knowing they support our wonderful European Union.”
Although the EU wall is ostensibly to keep out the British, an EU insider revealed the EU was also concerned that too many Europeans were finding life more attractive in the UK and other non-EU countries so the wall was, indeed, intended to keep them in.
A Home Office spokesperson said: “Once we leave the EU, what they do with their borders is no longer our concern.
“However, if any citizens escape and make it to the UK we will, of course, as we always have done, welcome them with open arms.”
Would you rather have a piece of the Berlin wall or a piece of Moon rock?
In which European country did you buy your last villa?
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