Government passes Deferred Gratification bill. It comes into effect in 2050

“Salsa is supposed to keep you fit,” said Roscoe Arbuckle. “But I ate 5 bottles a day and I haven’t lost an ounce!”

Birmingham bin workers strike over ‘poor equipment’ claims. A council spokesman said: “That’s absolute rubbish!”

Hotel California – guests check out and leave! One said: “The pink champagne was a nice surprise and the band was good but the guitar solo did go on a bit…”

James Pattison to stop collaborating with co-authors. His next solo book is due out in2035

In a bid to tackle herd mentality, Facebook bans mental patients with hearing difficulties

A vandal broke into the Tate Gallery and made up Tracy Emin’s “My Bed”. Police are looking for a criminal who’s had a good night’s sleep

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Prolific Facebook “Liker” Simon Miles ordered to stop Liking everything – he doesn’t Like it.

Government crackdown on unregistered protests has lead to an increase in unregistered protests

How to spot a fashion rip-off – the original garment costs ten times what it’s worth!

You CAN die laughing – although not at a Michael McIntye show

Catalytic converters stolen for precious metals. Police search for culprits was exhautive… But plans to prosecute dealers receiving the metal have been scrapped

Turner Old Master found in rubble: Ex-teacher Brian Turner doing well after his ordeal

Donald Trump urges Europe to repatriate IS fighters – and shoot them!

Movie business to make a movie about the business of making a movie in the movie business

Remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds being backed by vulture capitalists

Narcissus updates Faccebook relationship status to “Me”. Zuckerberg updates his status to “God”

Thieves broke into Battersea Dogs Home. No animals were taken but police are looking for leads. A spokesman for Battersea said: “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

11, November 2019

Juncker to build EU wall around Europe

You are awesome for sharing

EU to build a 'Berlin' wall around Europe to prevent rising house prices

EU to build a ‘Berlin’ wall around Europe to prevent rising house prices

“The benefits and advantages of the Berlin wall have been severely underestimated,” claimed EU president Jean-Claude Juncker.

“You never saw a rampant rise in house prices in East Berlin, did you?

“Our glorious EU wall will keep out the unwanted Brits and prevent the gentry and the retired from gazumping the prices of our European houses.

“When the UK finally leaves the EU we will no longer have to suffer their scandalous conversions of our hovels into places of desirable repose.

“Many of our peasants people live an earthy existence and are happy knowing they support our wonderful European Union.”

Although the EU wall is ostensibly to keep out the British, an EU insider revealed the EU was also concerned that too many Europeans were finding life more attractive in the UK and other non-EU countries so the wall was, indeed, intended to keep them in.

A Home Office spokesperson said: “Once we leave the EU, what they do with their borders is no longer our concern.

“However, if any citizens escape and make it to the UK we will, of course, as we always have done, welcome them with open arms.”

Ref: BBC News Berlin Wall anniversary: Merkel warns democracy is not ‘self-evident’

Would you rather have a piece of the Berlin wall or a piece of Moon rock?
In which European country did you buy your last villa?
Leave a Comment below

You are awesome for sharing

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below

Leave a Reply: