Juncker caves and agrees UK Brexit terms. “Just keep your filthy English hands off our clocks,” he says
The EU has voted to scrap DST (Daylight Saving Time) with much opposition from the UK. Juncker is worried that if the UK remains in the EU we will force Europpe to keep DST thereby foiling his plans for Europe-wide domination.
“Ve cannot haf a united Europe if ve are not all zinging vrom ze zame hymn sheet, ya?” he said. “Ze clocks must not be moofed.”
The UK minister for Time & Efficiency, who also serves part-time as minister for Railways, said: “We jolly-well showed jolly old Juncker, what? They can’t mess with our traditional UK DST and get away with it. We knew they’d cave in at the end!”
Meanwhile, there have been demonstrations throughout Europe demanding the EU gives them back their lost hour. These were mainly in rural areas. And Paris.
The EU spokesperson for Temporal Affairs said: “This happens every year. They think they’re losing an hour of their life in the Spring but we never see any gratitude when they get it back in the Autumn.
“We know DST is actually beneficial. We use less electricity, there are fewer accidents and the economy improves but, to be honest, we’re sick and tired of these demonstrations so we’re going to abolish DST once and for all.
“Plus, when all our clocks are synchronised it will be much easier for Herr – sorry, Mr – Juncker to coordinate his armies. Of people. Armies of people, of Europeans, citizens, workers, those sorts of armies. People. Not fighty armies. Of course not.
“I’m just going to go back an hour and correct that last statement.”
Meanwhile, the UK government is debating whether or not to accept the proposal they originally wanted and which the EU has now accepted…