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4, November 2019

Johnson and Corbyn BOTH Russian sleeper agents

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Vladimir the Puppet Master plays Johnson and Corbyn like the strings on a rusty violin

Vladimir the Puppet Master plays Johnson and Corbyn like the strings on a rusty violin

Secret government documents produced by the combined offices of MI5 and MI6 reveal that both Boris Johnson and Jeremy Corbyn are Russian sleeper agents.

They were planted in the UK by different branches of the then-KGB with their own roles and purpose.

An MI5 spokesperson explained: “We were always suspicious of Boris Johnson, I mean, Boris is a typical Russian name so that’s a dead giveaway, isn’t it?

“And Corbyn is a commie so there you have it.

“Plus, they have both met Putin, shaken his hand and spoken to him in Russian. I think Mr Corbyn said ‘Your eye-lashes look lovely this year’ but something may have got lost in translation.

“The two were assigned different tasks: Johnson was to disrupt our democracy while Corbyn is to bankrupt the UK.

“Johnson has made several attempts to disrupt our democratic process. He orders takeaways without consulting the cabinet, he ignores popular opinion, and when visiting the toilet he doesn’t go through the proper channels.

“With a general election coming up, Jeremy Corbyn is starting to reveal his true colours, masquerading under the guise of ‘policy decisions designed to help the people’.

“His manifesto promises to raise the minimum wage to £17.47, reduce the working week to 23 hours, introduce seven more public holidays, build 71 more hospitals, reduce NHS waiting times to 30 minutes, eliminate homelessness by building 2.7m new homes, tackle climate change by banning all petrol and diesel vehicles by the end of the year, insulate every home in the UK including those in Northern Ireland, remove all restrictions on immigration and bring back hanging.”

The MI5 spokesperson continued: “The documents conclude that whichever one wins the next general election, the UK is well and truly fucked.”

Ref: BBC News Claims No 10 ‘sitting on’ Russian interference report

Would you rather be fucked by a Russian or a member of the Lib Dems?
What’s your favourite anti-democratic Russian song?
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