In a move towards egalitarianism, the Italian Supreme Court has ruled that it is illegal to wear expensive designer clothes, drive expensive sports cars or eat at expensive ‘fine dining’ restaurants.
The ruling has set Italian haute couture society reeling and even sent peasant-class Italians in their string vests out in the streets to protest.
The ruling came after a lengthy court case in which Ms Gabriella Fresca complained she was discriminated against because of her ‘temporary’ financial circumstances and could not afford expensive designer fashion.
The Supreme Court said that here was “a violation of the principles of equality and non-discrimination based on economic circumstances”.
And we all know what that means.
The Court ruled that all garments serving an “equal and apparent purpose” must be “made affordable to all members of society”.
But not only high society and the haute couture designers were unhappy. Mario, 26, a plumber from Funghi said: “I wear my M&S suit, take a girl out and say one day I will wear Armani. It is my best line. What sort of a country is this?”
Valentina Rosa Marconi, 24, said: “Dio santo! How am I supposed to find a suitable husband if everyone wears hand-me-downs?”
On the back of Ms Fresca’s case, the Anti Race and Sports car Equivalence (approximate translation) has got the Court to ban the sale of sports and luxury cars unless they are priced towards the average Italian.
Mario said: “So I take a girl out in my jalopy and say one day I will drive a Ferrari. It is my best line. What sort of country is this?”
Valentina said: “Porca vaccal! No suit, no car, my future is ruined.”
In addition, the Society Against The Promotion Of Gastronomic Delights also got a Court ruling to ban ‘fine dining’ pretentious restaurants which charge upwards of €300 for 30+ mini bite-sized ‘courses’.
The Society said: “This goes totally against our principles of egalitarian Italian food and family dining experience. These restaurants will now have to reduce their prices or serve good, wholesome food. We’re not French, you know”.
Mario said: “I take a girl for a pizza and tell her someday I will take her for fine dining experience. It is my best line. What sort of country is this?”
Valentina said: “Madonna, I will starve.”
The rulings have split Italian society and the EU is concerned that such principles might spread throughout the rest of Europe causing chaos, civil unrest and a demand for an egalitarian European society.
A spokesperson for the UK government merely chuckled.
Did you have to look up ‘egalitarianism’? (Hint: Ed did.)
What unfeasibly expensive item do you own that you’ll have no use for when you’re dead?
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