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4, August 2019

I only have eyes for you, but you should see what I’ve got for your sister

You are awesome for sharing

"As weddings go, I can't see this one lasting..."

“As weddings go, I can’t see this one lasting…”

OVERHEARD AT WEDDING RECEPTION

BRIDE: You had your tongue down her bloody throat.

GROOM: Awe, come on Love, I thought she was you, you look so much alike.

BRIDE: She IS my sister—

GROOM: See—

BRIDE: But she’s 10 years younger, dressed in black and she’s not seven-months pregnant.

GROOM: I know, but your faces look the same.

BRIDE: She has long dark hair or did that escape your notice?

GROOM: I was just looking at her – your – eyes.

BRIDE: Oh yes. (Closes eyes) And what colour are mine, then?

GROOM: Er, blue.

BRIDE: Do you want to go for best of three?

GROOM: What can I say? I was drunk.

BRIDE: Well that’s a change.

GROOM: Oh, come on, Love. You know you’re the only one for me.

BRIDE: My Mother always said I shouldn’t marry you.

GROOM: She’s never liked me.

BRIDE: Not as much as my darling sister, apparently.

GROOM: Hey, I haven’t touched your Mother.

BRIDE: Of course not – she’s got too much good taste.

GROOM: I think we got off to a bad start.

BRIDE: A bad start that just keeps getting worse and we’ve only been married an hour. You’ve got no respect for me, or my baby—

GROOM: Our baby.

BRIDE: (Pause) Remember when we went on holiday to Ibiza seven months ago…?

Ref: BBC News Meet the ‘warts and all’ wedding photographer


What’s the worst marriage proposal you’ve ever accepted?
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