OVERHEARD AT WEDDING RECEPTION
BRIDE: You had your tongue down her bloody throat.
GROOM: Awe, come on Love, I thought she was you, you look so much alike.
BRIDE: She IS my sister—
GROOM: I know, but your faces look the same.
BRIDE: She has long dark hair or did that escape your notice?
GROOM: I was just looking at her – your – eyes.
BRIDE: Oh yes. (Closes eyes) And what colour are mine, then?
GROOM: Er, blue.
BRIDE: Do you want to go for best of three?
GROOM: What can I say? I was drunk.
BRIDE: Well that’s a change.
GROOM: Oh, come on, Love. You know you’re the only one for me.
BRIDE: My Mother always said I shouldn’t marry you.
GROOM: She’s never liked me.
BRIDE: Not as much as my darling sister, apparently.
GROOM: Hey, I haven’t touched your Mother.
BRIDE: Of course not – she’s got too much good taste.
GROOM: I think we got off to a bad start.
BRIDE: A bad start that just keeps getting worse and we’ve only been married an hour. You’ve got no respect for me, or my baby—
GROOM: Our baby.
BRIDE: (Pause) Remember when we went on holiday to Ibiza seven months ago…?
Ref: BBC News Meet the ‘warts and all’ wedding photographer
What’s the worst marriage proposal you’ve ever accepted?
Is your partner’s sibling a better kisser?
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