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7, April 2019

“I had to have a chat with Jeremy,” claims May. “We have soooo much in common.”

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"I never trusted the woman. And there were no shortbread biscuits."

“I never trusted the woman. And there were no shortbread biscuits.”

UK PM, Theresa May, says she had no choice but to arrange talks with Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.

“Although we appear to be at opposite ends of the political spectrum,” she said. “We meet very well centre stage. And he has lovely green eyes, don’t you think? Don’t tell Philip.

“Take our stance on poverty, for example. We’re both committed to reducing it. And improving social housing. And reducing knife crime, and raising living standards, And we both, somehow want to reduce the tax on shortbread which I know is his favourite biscuit.

“We both support gay rights and anti-discrimination. Our views on the gender pay gap are similar although I know some companies are letting us down there.

“You see, we differ only minutely in the details but that’s part of what politics is all about.

“As for the anti-semitism charges, well, they’re just out to get him, aren’t they? I know what that’s like.

“This little issue of the Brexit deal is only marred by details. If we can just sit down and discuss it, talk over any tiny issues, then I’m sure we can resolve it once and for all, for the good of the country and everyone.

“That is why I have asked Jeremy – Mr Corbyn – along to our little meeting. A chat, really. And there’ll be shortbread.”

After leaving the meeting Mr Corbyn said: “I’ve absolutely nothing in common with that woman!

“And there was no shortbread, the lying bitch!”

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