Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texan. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

During her visit to China UK PM, Thereas May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

26, April 2019

“I can’t wait to try on Lizzie’s crown,” says Trump. “King of America is a very great idea.”

You are awesome for sharing

"There is royal etiquette one must observe, so try to get it right this time. He's not walking behind you with a drawn sword for nothing!"

“There is royal etiquette one must observe, so try to get it right this time. He’s not walking behind you with a drawn sword for nothing!”

US President Donald Trump is said to be “very bigly thrilled” at his up-coming state visit to the UK. He is particularly looking forward to spending time with the Queen again after his “working visit” two years ago.

“We got on so well, very greatly well. We’re BFF,” he said. “She’s just an ordinary person. She spoke about her children and grandchildren and I know all about children, and she promised to let me try on her crown which I’m greatly looking forward to.

“I’m also gonna ask if she’ll let me try her throne for size. It’s a great idea, royalty. I think we should do it in America. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it, deeply, like I have. I think about a lot of things deeply.”

A Buckingham Palace secretary will be writing to White House officials to prep them on royal etiquette which the President got wrong on several occasions during his previous visit.

A Palace spokesperson said: “We did inform them last time but I’m not convinced all of their ‘executive assistants’ can read.

“Still, we’ve dealt with worse.

“Although not much.”

A palace insider later reported that after being informed of Trump’s visit, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was heard to remark: “Not him again. Oh shit!”

Should Trump be  King of America?
If not, what should he be?
Leave a Comment below.

You are awesome for sharing

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below

Leave a Reply: