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26, April 2019

“I can’t wait to try on Lizzie’s crown,” says Trump. “King of America is a very great idea.”

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"There is royal etiquette one must observe, so try to get it right this time. He's not walking behind you with a drawn sword for nothing!"

“There is royal etiquette one must observe, so try to get it right this time. He’s not walking behind you with a drawn sword for nothing!”

US President Donald Trump is said to be “very bigly thrilled” at his up-coming state visit to the UK. He is particularly looking forward to spending time with the Queen again after his “working visit” two years ago.

“We got on so well, very greatly well. We’re BFF,” he said. “She’s just an ordinary person. She spoke about her children and grandchildren and I know all about children, and she promised to let me try on her crown which I’m greatly looking forward to.

“I’m also gonna ask if she’ll let me try her throne for size. It’s a great idea, royalty. I think we should do it in America. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it, deeply, like I have. I think about a lot of things deeply.”

A Buckingham Palace secretary will be writing to White House officials to prep them on royal etiquette which the President got wrong on several occasions during his previous visit.

A Palace spokesperson said: “We did inform them last time but I’m not convinced all of their ‘executive assistants’ can read.

“Still, we’ve dealt with worse.

“Although not much.”

A palace insider later reported that after being informed of Trump’s visit, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was heard to remark: “Not him again. Oh shit!”


Should Trump be  King of America?
If not, what should he be?
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