Prolific Facebook “Liker” Simon Miles ordered to stop Liking everything – he doesn’t Like it.

In a bid to tackle herd mentality, Facebook bans mental patients with hearing difficulties

A vandal broke into the Tate Gallery and made up Tracy Emin’s “My Bed”. Police are looking for a criminal who’s had a good night’s sleep

Government crackdown on unregistered protests has lead to an increase in unregistered protests

Catalytic converters stolen for precious metals. Police search for culprits was exhautive… But plans to prosecute dealers receiving the metal have been scrapped

Movie business to make a movie about the business of making a movie in the movie business

Donald Trump urges Europe to repatriate IS fighters – and shoot them!

Hotel California – guests check out and leave! One said: “The pink champagne was a nice surprise and the band was good but the guitar solo did go on a bit…”

Turner Old Master found in rubble: Ex-teacher Brian Turner doing well after his ordeal

You CAN die laughing – although not at a Michael McIntye show

Thieves broke into Battersea Dogs Home. No animals were taken but police are looking for leads. A spokesman for Battersea said: “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Narcissus updates Faccebook relationship status to “Me”. Zuckerberg updates his status to “God”

Birmingham bin workers strike over ‘poor equipment’ claims. A council spokesman said: “That’s absolute rubbish!”

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

“Salsa is supposed to keep you fit,” said Roscoe Arbuckle. “But I ate 5 bottles a day and I haven’t lost an ounce!”

Remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds being backed by vulture capitalists

Government passes Deferred Gratification bill. It comes into effect in 2050

James Pattison to stop collaborating with co-authors. His next solo book is due out in2035

How to spot a fashion rip-off – the original garment costs ten times what it’s worth!

15, February 2019

High Court judge falls asleep – “The case was as boring as fart and I’d been up all night washing my wig.”

You are awesome for sharing

British justice is blind AND asleep!

British justice is blind AND asleep!

Mrs Justice Parker, 68, fell asleep “momentarily” while hearing a case in the Family Division of the High Court.

“I’ve heard a lot of boring cases in my time,” she said. “But this takes the biscuit. It was boring as fart. I can’t even remember what it was about, it was so boring. Probably some child abduction or a woman left destitute. Yawm. Why can’t they give me a nice juicy murder or a political scandal, something worth listening to?

“Besdides, I was up all night washing my wig and putting curlers in it. You’d think you’d get a high quality wig when you’re a judge but, oh no. Some snotty little kid touched it. I shudder to think where his fingers have been.”

The judge was given “formal advice” by the Judicial Conduct Investigations Office (JCIO) and ordered to watch the entire box set of Eldorado back-to-back plus a week’s worth of the Jeremy Kyle Show. A spokesman said: “That’ll teach her what boring is!”

You are awesome for sharing

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below

Leave a Reply: