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15, February 2019

High Court judge falls asleep – “The case was as boring as fart and I’d been up all night washing my wig.”

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British justice is blind AND asleep!

British justice is blind AND asleep!

Mrs Justice Parker, 68, fell asleep “momentarily” while hearing a case in the Family Division of the High Court.

“I’ve heard a lot of boring cases in my time,” she said. “But this takes the biscuit. It was boring as fart. I can’t even remember what it was about, it was so boring. Probably some child abduction or a woman left destitute. Yawm. Why can’t they give me a nice juicy murder or a political scandal, something worth listening to?

“Besdides, I was up all night washing my wig and putting curlers in it. You’d think you’d get a high quality wig when you’re a judge but, oh no. Some snotty little kid touched it. I shudder to think where his fingers have been.”

The judge was given “formal advice” by the Judicial Conduct Investigations Office (JCIO) and ordered to watch the entire box set of Eldorado back-to-back plus a week’s worth of the Jeremy Kyle Show. A spokesman said: “That’ll teach her what boring is!”

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