The government and local councils are being sued for not being Big Brother enough.
Lawyers representing neglected citizens of the UK are suing the government for disregard, negligence and “politically-driven abuse of power.”
On behalf of the 350,000 homeless, lawyers argue that the government and local councils failed to provide protection, support and assistance in time of need, as well as a pet dog, braziers in winter and dry cardboard boxes.
For the five million domestically abused, the government failed to provide adequate protection, the councils adequate shelter and the police adequate assistance and a defence strategy such as a fucking big gun.
For the four million children living in poverty, both government and councils failed to provide support, sustenance, clothing, nurture, housing, schooling, a family environment, an X-Box and a trip to Disneyland.
200,000 elderly suffered neglect, abuse, robbery, financial and violent crime. Lawyers claim that councils provide inadequate care, inadequate carer screening and inadequate facilities as well as too much over-cooked cabbage and insufficient afternoon bingo sessions.
Lawyers for parents with children in the armed forces accused the government of failing to prevent their children from joining the military to fight for their country and possibly get killed or injured. They claimed the government should have banned war movies, the News and violent video games.
Lawyers for parents whose children got involved with street gangs and turned to crime said the government should have provided more youth clubs, more social workers and more video games.
Lawyers for children who had been killed in road accidents argued that the government and police failed to provide adequate protection against being involved in a road accident.
The remaining lawyers castigated the government for failing to provide a 24/7 body guard for every child, to follow them whenever they were out of sight of their parents and in danger of being radicalised by Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Moonies, Islamists, Scientologists, Hare Krishnas, Jews, Buddhists or Christians.
The Government has yet to respond.
Which is best: UK’s current ‘democracy’ or a benevolent dictatorship?
Would you rather have a gun or a home? (UK respondents only please.)
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