The UK government has agreed to pay itself a £12b fine after several departments were found to be in breach of various data protection acts. These include the EU’s GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) even though it’s poorly-thought out and no one understands it.
A total of 137 government departments gave away personal information to anyone who said the magic words “GDPR privacy law”.
Government staff had been so indoctrinated by the term ‘GDPR’ that anyone quoting those words would send them into a “tizzy of confusion”. The staff would give away any requested information including the subject’s passwords, Mother’s maiden name and bank details.
They also revealed the subject’s sexual predilections, the results of their last snog marry shag game, and the names on their personal hit list.
These were of particular concern as many of the subjects were in the security services and had enemies.
The government categorically denied it was creating a database of citizen’s sexual predilections.
Even more alarming was that the requests were still handed over when the enquirer had a thick Russian accent and when email requests came in poor English from overseas and hostile territories.
After an internal inquiry, the government quickly decided that the departments were in breach of more data protection laws than anyone could reasonably be expected to understand and agreed to fine itself £12b.
The money will be paid from the Brexit Contingency Fund to the Treasury which will immediately award the money back to the Fund.
So no harm done.
The government declined to say specifically which departments were involved, citing some GDPR privacy law.
What personal information will you not reveal to a living soul?
What is your favourite sexual predilection?
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