Rick Osterloh, who has more gadgets than MenKind, said he loves the surprised look on people’s faces when he reveals intimate personal details that no one but a technology oligarch with access to millions of dollars’ worth of hi tech computer and surveillance equipment could possibly know.
“It’s like being in one of those movies where a computer hacker can find anyone, control traffic lights and order free pizza. But I’m living the dream.
“The key is facial recognition,” he explained. “There’s been lots of controversy about this but we just develop the tech, we don’t make the rules.
“A lot of black and Asian people were upset because the technology didn’t work well with their skin colour. We’ve fixed that now as we are a totally inclusive company. You can’t escape facial recognition by blacking up,” he joked.
“I have a portable system build into my glasses and when I look at someone the system tells me who they are and how many times they’ve been arrested. You can’t be too careful.
“If someone comes to my home, the system there retrieve their personal information including photographs and their bank details. After all, I need to know if they’re worth doing business with, and the photographs often provide additional leverage.”
When asked about personal privacy, Mr Osterloh said: “It’s something we take very seriously at Google. I’d get rid of the photographs you took on the 19th and we could arrange a small loan to cover your overdraft.”
Google’s latest Nest Hub III will be on sale online to strangers everywhere soon.
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