According to the Actuarial Social Society, the life expectancy of UK citizens has dropped dramatically over the past two years.
A spokesperson said: “It’s a combination of poor nutrition, money worries and waiting for the next episode of Game of Thrones.
“Plus, people are no longer eating an apple a day as their parent and grandparents did.”
Nicky, 24, from Huddersfield said: “I eat my apples in pies. That’s all right, isn’t it? But I have been worried sick about what’s going to happen to Jon Snow and I’ve been binge eating Greggs’ pasties. I think I’ll just keep eating them till I fall over.”
Derek, 66, from Bristol said: “I’ve been working in this bastard factory over 50 years and I’m sick of it. I’m desperate to watch Game of Thrones but people say you need to watch them one after the other so that’s what I’m going to do when I retire.
“I like my apples pressed into cider. I reckon a jar or two per episode will do, what with not having to get up for sodding work in the morning.
A minister, who did not want to be named, from the Department for Health and Social Care said: “People are dying far too soon, before seeing the last series of Game of Thrones.
“They also aren’t paying their fair share of tax. The government will have to boost the NHS and healthcare otherwise it’ll be spending more to look after these people than it’ll get in tax.
“I did suggest they offer Game of Thrones on the NHS. It would be far more cost-effective but that went down like a Big Mac at a Vegan dinner.
“Sometimes these politicians just don’t know a good thing when they see it.”
Would you knock a year off your life expectancy to watch Game of Thrones?
What TV program is the biggest waste of time?
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